The official day of ‘love’ is almost here and apart from the pangs of loneliness that it generally brings along for single people, this year’s Valentine’s Day is also filled with a range of career opportunities. And we’re gonna help you explore some of them.
The youth wing of the Vishwa Hindu Parishad, infamously known as the ‘Bajrang Dal’ is here to provide you solace if you’re both jobless and ‘girlfriendless’ on this 14th of February.
They’re apparently offering a spring internship program (no kidding, dude) for the inquisitive young members of the millennial generation who might be interested in joining them in their journey of stopping the western culture from creeping into India.
Basically, that translates to tormenting and molesting couples in public places on 14th February or even worse, forcing them to get married if seen together. (Ah! What are the fundamental rights the constitution entails, again?)
So if you also think that #PyaarEkDhokaHai and the concept of Valentine’s Day is flawed, then you might want to check their site and apply for this mind-gasming internship that they’re offering to all the single men and women out there.
Well, according to this internship form, being single should not restrict you from knowing the popular love spots in your city. How else would you be able to catch couples and beat them up then?
Apart from asking whether someone gets jealous or angry on seeing couples, there is also a question asking people to give a brief on their violent career history.
This is just the perfect opportunity for you to explain how you wanted to beat up your superior when he/she stole that appraisal from you for the work that you completed alone.
Also, Bajrang Dal is not the only youth political group offering such ‘interesting’ profiles, there are a myriad of fringe groups all over the country that will help you find that dream job you’ve been desperately looking for.
Let’s have a look at them.
Akhil Bhartiya Vidyaarthi Parishad
This group forms the youth wing of the Bhartiya Janta Party, the party that’s most synonymous with upholding India’s rich culture and ‘moral values’ (read moral-policing).
While UP Chief Minister Adityanath Yogi worked day and night to create the ‘Anti-Romeo Squad’ which was responsible for ‘punishing’ girls and boys even if they were simply seen walking on the road together, the youth wing of the BJP takes this task to another level every year as the V-Day dawns upon us.
They have apparently taken the moral responsibility of teaching young girls and boys that roaming in public places together with your bae is apparently against India’s culture.
And if by any chance, you’re seen doing so, they will tie you up, blacken your face or sometimes even beat you up because this is not the West as kissing in public here is not the same as pissing in public.
Shiv Sena/Bhartiya Vidyarthi Sena
Though this group restricts itself strictly to Maharashtra but think about it, didn’t you always want to work in a metropolitan?
This is your moment, man!
So basically, their prime activities include marching to parks, malls, cinema halls and other public places to keep a check on ‘couples’ and their so-called indecent activities.
On top of that, you might get to break somebody’s leg or two, could this get any better? You know you want this.
Apply now, don’t wait up.
Akhil Bhartiya Hindu Parishad
Sounds similar to the aforementioned name, right? Well to be honest, their activities go hand in hand too.
Shout out slogans like ‘Pyaar ek dhoka hai, padhle beta mauka hai’ on V-Day, beat up and blackmail couples, tie them up, get them married and so on and so forth.
Same work, same profile.
These are some of the opportunities we can tell you about. If you’re still clueless, you can personally contact these groups and get yourself acquainted with the terms and conditions of their respective internship programs.
I’m sure they’d be happy to help both you, and the nation to get rid of the Western culture that’s been trying to ruin our saanskars.
God bless the 21st century!
Image Credits: Google Images
Find the blogger at @MoulshreeS