Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we pick a famous personality and throw fake questions at him/her and in return, we receive fake answers. Why should you not take it seriously? Because it is fake.
If you still didn’t get it: This is a fake interview written purely on the basis of the author’s imagination of how the actual interview would have been if we got the chance to interview these famous (for all the wrong reasons) personalities in real. In short, just have a good laugh!
Deepak Kalal is an online personality who is known for his cringe-inducing videos that often go viral. He is supposedly marrying the extremely famous Rakhi Sawant in December and they have even obtained Certificates of Virginity for each other.
Disclaimer : No words written by humans can describe how Deepak Kalal laughs. It is weird, it is scary. It shall be henceforth referred to as the *Deepak Kalal laugh*
Deepak Kalal’s interview is the peak moment of my life, I do not think I can achieve anything. Being even in the fake presence of such a luminescent personality has brought purpose to my life.
ED: Hello Deepak Sir, welcome to FFF. Just like this interview, the following statement is also fake. “It’s a pleasure to interview you today.”
DK: *Deepak Kalal laugh* Such a joker you are. Voh toh mai LA se apni Lambo mei aaraha tha, toh mere jism ne kaha ke aapse mil lu.
ED: But we don’t know each other.
DK: *stares seductively*
ED: Ok, so first question. How does it feel to be hitched to Rakhi Sawant?
DK: *still staring seductively* Ji kon?
ED: Umm, your fiance? The one who you announced you would be marrying. You uploaded that certificate of virginity on Instagram also.
DK: Oooh, Rakhuu? Oh haan, we just felt we were right for each other. Both of us are so popular, and so many of our fans are the same also.
ED: Sir, about that “Certificate of Virginity”, did you really go to a doctor and get it? And have you never had sex in your life before this?
DK: *lowers T-shirt off shoulder* Aapko kya lagta hai? Koi aise husn ko mana kar paya hai? But I have resisted. Maine bahut tapasya ki hai. Kyuki Rakhuu is the love of my life.
And I don’t believe in pre-marital sambhog. Sambhog should be only with one person and bahut hona chayie.
Ham Dr. Chudariya ke paas isliye gaye because he is a very good sexologist and Dentist hai. He checked us very thoroughly and gave us the certificate.
ED: Wow. Amazing. Tell us a bit more about Rakhi ma’am. How is she? Why did you decide to marry her? Is she not too controversial?
DK: Arre do you have a problem? Agar hai toh tumse kar leta hu.
ED: Sir, please answer the question.
DK: Oho naught boy, okay. Dekho my Rakhu is just perfect. She is this adarsh bahu that everyone wants, ekdam sundar susheel. My mom likes her very much.
Reach the blogger at @tanmaymay_
Feature image credits: Rishabh Patel
Image Source: Google Images
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