What even? I’m sure something on similar grounds might come to your mind with one look at this topic.

After facing centuries of lingering oppression by patriarchs. At last, we have discovered the source of their perennial inspiration.

You heard it right. The process of kneading bread dough and the functioning of patriarchal society has a similar method to it. We have it all figured out for you.

Kindly, bear with me. By the end of this article, the chances of you agreeing with me are as high as the chances of BJP coming to power in the Lok Sabha elections of 2019.

Disclaimer: This article in every way intends to subvert patriarchy. But before I’m attacked with defensive comments, ‘ofc, not all men’.

So without further ado, in the words of Pat Benatar, ‘let’s fire away’.

#1 Commanding the room like a (baker) man

The very act of kneading can be loosely described as squeezing or pounding with hands. Now whether it be a dough or a woman, the act justifies the purpose which is to dominate.

Kneading by hand is the easiest way to control the bread’s consistency. It is quite infamous how patriarchal mindsets bear a desperate need to have supreme control to ensure profound subordination of women.

#2 Single most effective mechanism to do away with foreign elements

The dough while kneading acquires unwanted elements like gas bubbles within. Punching down removes the bubbles producing finer grain.

Similarly, sometimes women associate themselves with unwanted, alien concepts like that of freedom (too bold). The ability to dress the way they want and above all, the basic desire to have their own position in society.

That, of course, is a major threat to the patriarchs and not the kind of product they want to advertise.

Ab aurat hath se nikal gayi hai toh kaise sambhale? (how to control a woman if she’s out of your hands?)

The underlying solution to this intricate problem is a punch. Abusive fathers and husbands are the single most essential gift to the vulnerable concept of patriarchy.

Patriarchs be like: our work here is done

#3 Why is kneading important?

If the dough isn’t thoroughly kneaded, it turns tough and dense. On the contrary, we prefer a dough with a shiny dash on the outside and a smooth texture on the inside.

Sounds like an ideal woman? Macho patriarchs find women like Kangana Ranaut and Malala Yousafzai who thrive on independence highly intimidating.

Sorry for the inconvenience, they are trying to change the world.

Husbands who abide by the righteous norms of patriarchy wouldn’t want wives who are ready to call them out on their BS. Ergo, women are mentored using various means to help provide validation to their fragile masculinity.

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#4 How do you know that the bread is ready to bake?

This is done by means of a test. A small dent is made by the finger in the dough. If it stays intact without springing up, the dough is ready to bake.

Now that a lot of time and punches have been invested by the so-called family heads in their model projects, it is of utmost importance that these women robots plan a life according to their demands and convenience.

Always available at their beck and call. However, the ultimate agnipariksha requires women to chant and live by the anthem of ‘tumhi mere mandir tumhi meri pooja tumhi devta ho’.

That’s when you know it’s a product well made (literally).

This is when you know that you’ve found the right woman

This is precisely what patriarchy does to a mother, a wife, a girl. A woman.

Image credits: Google Images

Find the blogger @ashnavig

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