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Rail Budget 2016 -17: Iss Baar Ki Engine Ki Seeti Main Sab Ka Mann Dole!

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By Niharika Ghoshal

‘Hey Prabhu! Tune sun li humaari!’ Every Indian must be happy with Suresh Prabhu, Union Railway Minister, India as he presented the Rail Budget today. With no hike in fares and upliftment in the ticketing and cancellation system every Dil must be doing haddipa!

1

Indian railways targets new sources of revenue by implying cost cutting methods!

The government has decided to cut costs and generate new sources of revenue next  rise in its wage bill. Presenting the Rail Budget, Union railway minister Suresh Prabhu said that the planned budget outlay for the world’s fourth-largest network will be 1.21 lakh crores, up about 20 per cent from the current year’s estimated expenditure.

*Prabhu’s promise to the nation is No fare hike, increase in quota for senior citizens, women.*

Suresh Prabhu and his cabinet’s planning has made the aam janta happy after all the sad news this season’s start. Kudos bro!

  • The special mentions of the Rail Budget 2016-17
  • For year 2016-17, railways are expecting an operating ratio of 92 percent in fiscal year 2016-2017, as opposed to last year’s ratio of 90 percent.
  • The Railways expect to generate a revenue of Rs 1,84,820 crore in this fiscal year; an increase of 10 percent from last year *In short, Prabhu Ratan Dhan Payo*
  • Planned capital outlay of Rs 1.21 lakh crore this fiscal.
  • Time-tabled freight trains to be introduced by 2020.
  • Railways have a saving of 8,720 crore from previous Budget estimates, which will be put
  • into use this fiscal year.
  • LIC has agreed to fund Rs 1.5 lakh crore over the next 5 years.
  • Rs 8.5 lakh crore to be spent over 5 years for modernisation of railway infrastructure.

2

20 Reasons for you to be happy, why ED highlights the rail budget!

1. Overnight ‘Uday’ double-decker trains soon. Don’t miss London now!

2. Antyodaya Express long-distance superfast train for unreserved passengers. Finally this train needs no reservation (No more Jatt-stir, or Minority issues)

3. Aastha circuit trains to connect important pilgrim centres. Get the real feel of Aastha channel in here!

4. Proposal to be invited from FM radio stations to provide train-borne entertainment via PA systems. Ab chuk chuk main bhi bajaate raho!

5. Ticket cancellation via phone calls soon. Tickets cancel karane ke liye 2 dabaye! Phirr bhi cancel na ho toh apna gala zarur dabaye

6. Introduction of separate toilets for “divyaang” people. Respect, for this!

7. GPS-based displays inside coaches, “rail speed network” to provide real time info to passengers. Ab apne screens se pucho, Yeh train kitni late hai?

8. 20,000 display screens across 2,000 station for better dissemination of information to passengers. Yatriya kripya dhyaan de, passengers please mind the gap.

9. Children’s menu, baby foods, baby boards to be made available for travelling mothers.

10. Sub-quota of 33 percent in for women in each reserved category. Excuse Me, Can I have a bowl of cerelac with some honey over it!

11. IRCTC will start e-catering service; local cuisine of choice will be made available to the passengers. Wahi daal, wahi rajma, wahi chicken, wahi daal-bati, wahi jalebi…..

12. Under ‘Clean My Coach’ service, passengers can request for cleaning of toilets in train through SMS. I won’t hold my pee any longer now. My record of 27 hours in a train without pee break won’t get published ever! Sob!

13. Introduction of bar-coded tickets. Scannn-ED ho aap

14. Need For Speed India! Enhanced capacity of eticketing system from 2000 tickets/minute to 7,200/minute.

15. Introduction of Wi-Fi services at 100 stations this year, 400 more stations over next two years. Finally you can log-in to Facebook while playing Subway surfers without using your data pack.

16. Increased quota of lower berths for senior citizens and women passengers. Mere Baap Pehle Aap.

17. 1,780 automatic ticket vending machines to be installed. Line pe matt lago na ab, line todo.

18. All stations will be brought under CCTV surveillance. Hi! Can you see me? I’m at Platform 16.

19. Dustbins to be placed in all non-AC coaches. Yahaan bidi, dhumrapaan, aur paan ke maze naa kare

20. Finally, you understand what the entire article is about!!

Be the happy aam aadmi you’ll have been. Book your tickets via train this time for anywhere you decide to go and utilize the amazing services by Indian Railways this year! Happy Journey fellas!


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