Recently I came across a Facebook post (which I am meandering very carefully in case I fall prey to another scam by them) by pastor Ab Isong.
Apparently, he had shared a blog post written in 2015 by Oluseye Igbafe an aspiring writer, mother, Pastor’s wife and more. She might not be anyone famous or well-known, but her post regarding the culture we have towards children, their clothes, behaviour and more struck a chord with me about how universal this problem actually is.
As I waited in the departure lounge of a local airport, I noticed there were many children about but it was understandable since it was summer holiday. One other thing I noticed was the way most of the children were dressed. Most of them, especially the girls, were dressed in bum shorts, halter necks, cut off jeans, etc. The clothes in themselves weren’t the issue per se; it was the overall look of the children that had me bothered. That was definitely not the first time I noticed it.
A few months before, I had taken my kids to a birthday party and found myself in what could easily have been a night club for kids. Scanty clothing such as tight or very short clothes, bum shorts, long weaves, etc, seemed to be the dress code. I noticed my daughter glancing around her, probably wondering, “What in God’s world are these other children wearing?” Or something like that.
Not long after, the kids were called out to dance to the hit songs of the season – these songs in my opinion should be rated PG 13. 4-6 year olds trooped to the dance floor, miming the sexually explicit songs and gyrating their bodies in the most sensual manner. They could have given Beyounce a run for her money.
They ran their hands over their bodies, shook their booties hard while their parents cheered them on. The boys had their upper shirts unbuttoned and rapped along perfectly to gangsta raps while doing flawless break dance.
Those who danced like actual children where shooed off the dance floor while the lewd ones were cheered on. As I watched, my child stared out of this circle looking longingly at the others dancing. I knew it was time to leave. As we left, we went to a eatery where I bought them ice cream and gently explained to them the concept of decency and dancing with decorum.
Another time, at a game arcade for kids, I ran into a lady who had made-up her kids’ faces like they were mannequins for Tara or Mac beauty products. Their skirts were so tight, that running up and down the slide was uncomfortable for them.
So the question is, why are we sexualizing our kids? Why does your 4, 6 or 9 year old girl have to look like a chick? Why does she have to be hot or sexy? Should your 8 year old son go around with a comb in his hair and his pants sagged almost to his ankles?
If your child wears bum shorts out of the house at age 3, why should she be expected to wear longer ones at 15? If she wears 2 rings and 12 bangles at 6, why won’t she pierce a second ear hole at 17 and her bellybutton at 19?
Why won’t your son pierce his own ear at 15? Are you setting your children up to be immodest and indecent? What trend are you starting them on? That all these are fashionable or trendy doesn’t mean it’s ok.
Some parents even dress their children like this to church. Church!
What are you teaching the child? What happened to children wearing dresses to church? Children can look very nice and decent, they can be well covered and still look good. In this age, when children are being abused, is it wise to make your child an object of anyone’s sexual attention?
When I hear some children belt out sexually explicit lyrics, I ask myself how they became exposed to this songs! As a parent, you can’t play the CD of such songs and not expect your children to pick them up; the same goes for watching Mtv Base, Channel O, etc with your children.
Studies have shown that children exposed to a high level of sexually explicit information tend to become sexually active early. Is that your goal as a parent?
Being a Parent involves sacrifice. You will need to avoid listening to such music where your children are.
Most of those lyrics demean women and teach your daughter that she’s just a sex toy and her body is for squeezing. It teaches the boys that money is everything and women are things to be used to satisfy their primal urges. These music introduces them to a degrading pop culture.
Our children have their lives ahead of them, let’s set them on the right path by teaching them to dress decently and sing nice or age-appropriate songs. Let your children be children. Train up a child in the way that s/he should go and when s/he is old, s/he would not depart from it.
Do you agree that children are unnecessarily exposed to sexually explicit elements? Is it possible that some parents are victims themselves or is it that they don’t know any better?
To be honest I agree with many statements given here and wonder at the hypocrisy of parents who after subjecting their children to such a free environment want the opposite from them when they grow up.
Even here in India, parents are more than ready to parade their children around like a free for all fashion show wearing latest designs and skimpy/ revealing clothing, dancing and singing to songs like Munni Badnam, Fevicol Se and more. But then when they grow up and include that behaviour in their daily life, they are told not to.
Girls are told to wear more appropriate clothes that cover their bodies, guys are told to find good jobs and settle for life. This is a big turnaround from the kind of childhood they are used to.
Also after all this, parents should not be worried or scared that their child is doing a wrong thing. Because that’s exactly what they’ve been used to for a good part of their childhood.
Another thing is the sexiness of children that I agree with, but where Ms. Igbafe stated normal incidents I see this happening on our television too.
From dance reality shows having explicit and sexy dance performances with the kids wearing indecent outfits barring stomachs and short skirts for girls and open shirts showing chest for the boys, to even daily serials children are made to age up or made the butt of the joke. In fact, we even did a piece on how This TV Show Made A Child Actor Jiggle His Abdomen So Everyone Could Laugh At Him And Gain TRP.
Children are shown as scheming and hatching plans on how to defeat their enemy like grownups and going to any means possible.
It is high time that we take a look at how exactly kids are being raised before pointing out the faults of the later generations and saying how its the western influences that have corrupted them.
Image Credits: Google Images
Sources: The Musing Lady
Other Recommendations:
http://edtimes.in/2017/10/kids-musical-reality-shows-an-opportunity-or-just-another-way-to-cash-in-on-a-childs-talents/
http://edtimes.in/2018/04/our-tolerance-level-is-so-low-irritability-so-high-that-one-can-be-shot-dead-for-wearing-a-wrong-coloured-shirt/
Hi Chirali,
Thanks for sharing my post as shared by Ab I song on his Facebook page. Your post however seems from the title to infer that he wrote it. I am a woman so the article wasn’t written by a man. You also made several references to my thoughts as if it’s his.
I will appreciate if you can edit the post to reflect me as the original author and not him.
The original article has be shared on many platforms including his facebook page but its not his original article. The original article can be seen on my website
Thank you.
Igbafe Oluseye.
Hello,
Thank you for informing us about this. Have made the changes and given the correct credits to you. Hope it reads fine now.