I don’t drive a car or a bike because I don’t own any. Hahaha. Just kidding.
Had to get this joke out of my mind. #NoRegrets
Bike Me Not
To begin with, driving a bike or a car is just too much work. Every external organ of your body has a role to play while driving a motorbike. Left leg to change the gear. Right leg to press brakes. Left hand for the clutch. Right hand for accelerator and front brakes.
If I’m physically so busy, how am I supposed to use my brain? How is it expected of the brain to pay attention to that blind son of b*tch crossing the road even though the lights are still green?
Also, do you know of any motorbike that has a trunk which is not at all placed awkwardly and doesn’t feel inconvenient to the pillion rider? Me neither.
Car? More like Can’t
Oh, my god, this is my favorite part.
Yes, I love car rides. Most of my beautiful memories are from car rides only because who hasn’t watched Dil Chahta Hai or ZNMD and didn’t try to re-enact the scenes later?
Cars are so comfortable. You turn on the air conditioner. Listen to some Taylor Swift and enjoy the scenes outside. Another plus point: those dirty beggars can’t touch you. Yay! Classism 101.
But it is extremely inconvenient, uncomfortable and agitating to drive a car. You have to constantly try not to kill someone.
Also read: Confessions Of A Person Who Cannot Drive
Again, your entire body is busy. Left leg on the clutch, right leg between brakes and accelerator, hands on the steering wheel, horn, gear, handbrake, and bazillions of other functions there are.
Oh, I forgot that your eyes are constantly battling to juggle between looking at the front and the windshield and the side mirrors and the back mirror. And since you are sitting on the right side of the car in India, a major portion of your car i.e. the left side is being driven on complete guesswork and estimation.
But Scooty. Is my love.
You just have to sit. Take care of the accelerator. And that’s it.
Beautiful. Mamma mia!
And, it’s spacious. There’s space for you to keep your articles and spread your legs, or make a 3-year-old kid stand in front of you or a hooker maybe (don’t do that though).
And even if you hit someone with a scooty (don’t do that intentionally) they don’t die. You’ll have to get up from your seat, crush the victim’s head with a stone, and then they’ll die. Of course, I don’t do that, because it is too much work.
But in a car, there’s a high chance of causing death or grievous hurt to the victim. Why? Because you are literally driving a machine ten times your weight, duh!