There are a number of definitions for “abuse” and yet one can get confused about what it really looks like. Abuse can be very deceptive, especially emotional abuse.
Love bombing is one such example of abuse where the victim might not even realise that he or she is being exploited
What Is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is a devious strategy employed by toxic individuals to manipulate others into thinking that they are actually interested in them.
Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), therapist Sasha Jackson says, “Love bombing is characterized by excessive attention, admiration, and affection with the goal to make the recipient feel dependent and obligated to that person.” She adds, “You feel special, needed, loved, valuable, and worthy, which are all the components that contribute to and increase a person’s self-esteem.”
LCSW Ami Kaplan explains, “Love bombing is largely an unconscious behavior.” She adds, “It’s about really getting the other person. Then, when they feel like they really got the person and they feel secure in the relationship, the narcissist typically switches and becomes very difficult, abusive, or manipulative.”
How Love Bombers Lure People Into Relationships
Showering someone with gifts, compliments, and attention can increase their endorphin and dopamine levels. As a result, the person feels happy, grateful, and comfortable. This makes it easier for love bombers to lure victims into toxic relationships.
Very often, love bombing is confused with the fairytale romances we grew up seeing on television. Who doesn’t like chocolates, flowers, validation, attention, and special treatment?
But these grand gestures do not always necessarily come from a place of love; love bombers use your insecurities to get you dependent on them, and when they’ve achieved what they wanted, you lose your worth to them. They start treating you poorly.
Laura Reagan, a trauma therapist, said, “If the person seems to be madly in love with you days or weeks after you meet for the first time, or if you find yourself wondering how they could possibly feel so strongly about you when they don’t know you very well, that’s a red flag.”
She added, “In abusive relationships, there is often a brief, intense courtship period followed by a desire to quickly formalize and deepen the commitment.”
How To Know You’re Being Love-Bombed?
The key character trait of a love bomber is narcissism. Abusers are not always mean and indifferent from the start. In the beginning, they bombard their victims with a great deal of affection and care, and once they realize they have complete control over them, that’s when the abuse and ill-treatment kick in.
Love bombers are often passionate and ask for commitment too soon. Gifts are a part of their plan to win you over. They can leave you spellbound with just their words, telling you things that they know will make you overcome your insecurities and feel special. They act jealous or possessive of you. They complain when you give time to your friends or anyone else.
It is a very subtle way of alienating the victims from their friends and gaining complete emotional control over them.
No matter how charming they are, do not ignore the red flags and beware of love bombers. The Netflix documentary “The Tinder Swindler” is an ideal example of how love bombers can be everywhere around you.
Let us know if you’ve ever been love bombed in the comment section below.
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Feature Image designed by Saudamini Seth
Source: The Swaddle & Blogger’s own opinion
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This post is tagged under: love bombing, love bombers, abuse, abusers, abusive, toxic relationships, toxic, toxicity, dating, manipulative, manipulation, mental health, breakup, relationship, dating, fairytale romance, gifts, compliments, attention, validation, trap, emotional abuse
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