Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we pick a famous personality and throw fake questions at him/her and in return, we receive fake answers. Why should you not take it seriously? Because it is fake.
If you still didn’t get it: This is a fake interview written purely on the basis of the author’s imagination of how the actual interview would have been if we got the chance to interview these famous (for all the wrong reasons) personalities in real. In short, just a good laugh.
ED: Hello, everyone! In today’s conversation, we have a really important guest with us.
Though our guest is famous in his locality and is generally identified even by his bark, I would take the privilege to introduce him to you. Moti is an Indian street dog who is 4 years old. He was born and brought up in the streets of Noida and today, we have got the privilege to interview him.
Thank you, Moti for joining us.
Moti (nibbling on the calcium bone given to them by Team ED): Oh! You were talking to me? I was a bit busy with this little thing, hooman.
ED: No worries. My first question to you is, what do you think about the safety provisions made by the government in residential societies like the one you live in?
Moti: Don’t get me started on it. Every day I encounter a new intruder, even terrorists at times. They conveniently get inside the houses of these stupid hoomans and they let them in. So idiotic! If I don’t bark, there won’t be any deterrence left. I wonder what will happen if I shift. All these hoomans will be looted and killed, I swear.
ED: Well, Moti. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it doesn’t work that way…
Moti (cutting us off): Please don’t dare try to lecture me on hooman superiority. You guys need so many languages to communicate. Look at us. Our community, irrespective of nationality, speaks just one language. Also, we can understand what you speak but you can’t.
ED: I must say that you are intelligent. Moving on to the next question, what is your opinion on hoomans, I mean humans?
Moti: As I said, hoomans like to believe they are superior but unfortunately, they are not. As far as their behaviour is concerned, hoomans are confusing.
Sharma uncle of number 44 is sweet. He always offers treats to me and my mates. A couple of months back, I fell ill and he took me to a white coat hooman even.
The white coat hooman was also good. He was kind and gave me cuddles and treats. But then there are people like Mishra aunty of number 45. She always pelts stones on me and my gang. I still try to protect her. The fault of habit, you see.
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ED: I am extremely sorry for hooman behaviour. You are right, they can be very confusing. By the way, I had heard that you look like your mother. Would you like to tell us something about your family?
Moti (teary-eyed): Hoomans are bad.
ED: Moti, are you fine? I know humans are bad but you love them, don’t you?
Moti: I love hoomans because God made me this way. You asked me about my family. My mum was really beautiful and so was my sister. I didn’t see my other siblings.
Mumma told me that God loved them more so he called them. I used to love playing with my sister but one day, a big beast came and crushed her.
A generous girl came to help but my sister had died by then. Mumma cried a lot. Soon, the man who crushed my sister sent my Mumma away. She was taken by some people but she never came back. I miss them.
ED (sobbing): I am sorry for your loss. I wish I could do something.
Moti: You can. You can ask people to drive their beasts slowly, to feed us and to not beat us. It hurts and mostly, we don’t have anyone to care for us. It is tough to live our life but we try our best. We also have a life. We don’t deserve to be killed.
ED: I know, Moti. Here (offers treats), take this. It will make you feel better.
(Moti Starts Eating)
ED: Thank you for joining us. And for our audience, drive slowly. These animals also have a right to life.
Moti sits in interviewer’s lap. He plays with the team and interviewer fondly and goes home with one of them as their pet.
Image Source: Google Images
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This post is tagged under: adopt stray animals, Animals, dog, Fake Friendly Fridays, fake interview, indies, Interview, interview of dog, moti, stray cats, stray dog, street animals, street dog