The bottle was spun again. Round… round… round… and it pointed towards her. “I pick truth”, she said. “Ok, so… umm… are you a virgin?”. This was the moment she always dreaded. Maintaining the sanctity of Truth-n-Dare, she answered “No, I’m not”. Silence!
Why is losing one’s virginity such a “haw haye” issue in Indian society? Why aren’t we allowed to openly talk about “losing” his/her virginity before marriage? Why is pre-marital sex a taboo topic?
The reactions one gets to the discussions about pre-marital sex are shocking and quite a revelation about the imbibed thinking of people even from the “happening generation”. According to most of the people, pre-marital sex is something wrong which should never, ever be indulged in. Such people can again be divided into two groups- those, who actually think that it is something immoral, and the rest, who don’t really know what they personally think of the issue of pre-marital sex and just follow what the society tells them about it.
Isn’t it high time that in place of treating it a taboo, elders begin to talk about the reasons that make a hullaballoo of the entire thing?
Two people, deeply in love, having a complete understanding about each other’s emotional needs, and of legal adult ages, are mature enough to decide on their own whether or not they should get physically intimate. It’s up to the two of them to decide if their decision is a responsible step or something irrational coming out of the hormonal rush (quite natural, nothing to be ashamed of, nothing “tharki” about it!). In an independent democratic nation like India, one is expected to have the freedom to take one’s own decisions, and of course be individually and solely responsible for the consequences of the act.
Trying to locate reasons for considering pre-marital sex as a “hush-hush” topic, one reaches the conclusion that the reasons must have been valid but got lost somewhere in the folds of time. Intercourse (using a more refined word for this “on the face” topic) is an act which affects a person physically, mentally and most important, emotionally. Having shared one’s body with another person creates a sense of belonging and a feeling so intense which, if not reciprocated, could scar the person emotionally. Also, the age in which people tend to get physically attracted towards another person is the age when the consequences of the act are not known and understood completely. Precautions for safety against STD’s and unwanted pregnancies are very important things to be considered. So, it can be seen that the society on its part is not wrong in being against pre-marital sex. The emotional and physical well-being of the person must have been considered before branding the issue a “taboo”.
I’m here neither to preach, not to rebel. It’s just an effort to bring into light an issue which people don’t talk or think about. The debate about what the society thinks and what individuals think will never end. If the society puts something under the category of “unwanted”, it has to be responsible and understanding towards the young blood and tell them the justified reasons for such a categorization. Simply saying “no, it’s wrong. You are not allowed to talk about it” will only increase the curiosity thereby leading to misjudgments.