Breakfast Babble is ED’s own little space on the interwebs where we gather to discuss ideas and get pumped up (or not) for the day. We judge things, too. Sometimes. Always. Whatever, call it catharsis and join in, people.
I have said yes to plans I hated, yes to extra fries I didn’t want, yes to a haircut I knew was a mistake.
Has it landed me in a pickle? Oh yes, unequivocally yes.
Hyperventilating because I was somewhere I didn’t want to be in the first place. Gaining a pound? Okay, maybe that wasn’t just the fries. Roaming around like a fool in a fringed haircut I knew didn’t suit me the second the scissors came out.
Saying yes to “just one more episode” at 2 am and yes to helping move someone’s couch on a Sunday I’d promised myself to myself.
I am amazed my neck hasn’t given up from nodding yes every time my brain is screaming no.
People-pleasing has its perks and its Titanic-sized disadvantages as well.
Oh, she’s the best, she’s so easy-going, so laid back. Or is it just a pushover?
Read more: Breakfast Babble: Why My Favourite Plans Are Cancelled Ones
It often happens that I end up doing the exact things I fiercely didn’t want to do. It’s like seeing the puddle, stepping into it anyway, and then acting surprised that my shoes are soaked.
Somewhere along the way, saying yes became easier than disappointing someone. Saying no somehow became harder than disappointing myself. So I took the easier path. I say yes when I mean no, and no when I want to say yes.
My inner monologue gives me a long TED Talk on how to avoid this in the future. But eh, I’m stuck in a never-ending loop. I promise myself I’ll do better. Then someone asks for a favour, and my mouth blurts out, “Sure,” before my brain has even joined the meeting.
A yes when I don’t wanna go. A no when I want to stay back. Events have officially turned into a full-blown yes-no comedy show at this point, and I’m both the host and the punchline.
People have called me different things- a people-pleaser, a follower. But maybe that’s the real problem. I wasn’t afraid of bad plans or bad haircuts. I was afraid that saying no would make me difficult, selfish, or less likeable.
At this rate, my epitaph is probably just going to read: “She meant to say no.”
Sources: Blogger’s own opinion
Find the blogger: @diptisadh
This post is tagged under: saying yes, saying no, people pleasing, boundaries, self-awareness, lifestyle blog, decision making, personal essay, relationships, mental wellbeing, self-worth, overthinking, friendships, lifestyle, selfish, disappointment, pushover
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