Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we pick a famous personality and throw fake questions at him/her and in return, we receive fake answers. Why should you not take it seriously? Because it is fake.
If you still didn’t get it: This is a fake interview written purely on the basis of the author’s imagination of how the actual interview would have been if we got the chance to interview these famous (some, for all the wrong reasons) personalities in real life. In short, just have a good laugh.
Hello and welcome everyone. We have with us today for our very special segment called ‘Fake Friendly Fridays’, The most aashiq ever, the official Youth Icon of the country, the best Kabir after YJHD, Kabir Singh.
ED: “We welcome you, Kabir, to this week’s exclusive Fake Friendly Fridays. Please sit here and make yourself comfortable.
Kabir Singh: “I will not sit there.”
ED: “But why Kabir? Is there something wrong with sitting here?”
Kabir Singh: “I don’t need to explain myself. Maine kaha na, nahi aaunga mtlab nahi aunga, bola na nahi aaunga.”
ED: “Sorry Kabir, Do what makes you comfortable, after all, we can’t force a rebel with a cause. Anyway, How are you?”
Kabir Singh: “Well, I am doing quite good, inspiring the youth all over the country with the ideals I have set for romance so far.”
*interviewer nods in agreement*
ED: “Obviously Kabir, you are the ‘Youth Icon’. You have inspired us to go after people we love, even if it means driving them crazy.”
*takes out his pendant with Preeti’s photo in it, to show the audience*
Kabir Singh: “I know right, look at this pendant. Doesn’t Preeti look good? She looks so good captivated. I think women should only be exclusive to one man, especially if he crushes your identity, that’s exactly the man worth being exclusive for.”
ED: “Fair enough, Mr. Singh, I completely agree. Men are entitled to good women like your wife. I was wondering Kabir, as you said you are a rebel with a cause, but what’s your cause?”
*Kabir pauses awkwardly, interviewer gives blank stare*
ED: “Um, Moving on Mr. Singh..”
*interviewee cuts interviewer short*
Kabir Singh: “Bas wahi toh nahi kar paya mai…”
ED: “Understandable, Preeti is too pretty to move on from. Anyway, I wanted to ask about your beloved’s hobbies..”
Kabir Singh: “Hobbies? Of course, her hobby is me, her world revolves around me. Oh, she sometimes enjoys going to the park where we met again, just to prove her obsession for me.”
ED: “Sorry Kabir. It completely skipped my mind that lovers like you are not supposed to have lives outside of each other. We are in awe of you both, #couplegoals.”
*interviewer in complete awe*
Kabir Singh: “It is fine, not everyone gets our love. But I am glad people watched our love story on the big screen. Those 260 crores dipped in misogyny, pure bliss.”
ED: “So..Mr. Singh any tips for the audience on finding the love of their lives?”
Kabir Singh: “Nothing in particular. Try writing songs or maybe declare your love in front of the entire college. If they don’t like you then try violence and if all fails resort to drugs. They ought to come back, they will realise your value only if you have indulged enough in self-destruction. ”
ED: “Oh my god, Kabir. Truer advice has never been spoken before. I am sure the audience will try all these ways. In fact I will personally kill all my hobbies and write bloodletters to the men I fancy.”
Kabir Singh: “Oh god, stop flattering me so much. These tips are nothing great. Nothing easier than naming your pet after your beloved.”
ED: “Yes Haha, but we are actually privileged to have you here Kabir. Thank you so much for coming here and joining us. We would love to host you again with your wife.”
Kabir Singh: “Thanks for having me here ED. A pleasure indeed. Continue fangirling over us. Do check out our couple page on Instagram.”
Image Credits: Deeksha Kumar
Find The Blogger: @anxioushustler