Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we pick a famous personality and throw fake questions at him/her and in return, we receive fake answers. Why should you not take it seriously? Because it is fake.
If you still didn’t get it: This is a fake interview written purely on the basis of the author’s imagination of how the actual interview would have been if we got the chance to interview these famous (some, for all the wrong reasons) personalities in real life. In short, just have a good laugh!
Coronavirus: In this new episode of Fake Friendly Friday we have another globally hated virus like me! Any guesses?
(forgets that the audience is in the hospitals) No?
Put your injections and medicines together… oh sorry, wait I mean put your hands together for H1N1 virus from the Spanish Flu of 1918-19.
H1N1 virus: (evil laughing sounds play in the background) And who are you newbie, why do you call me for chit chat?
Coronavirus: Sir, I am a big fan, I was so inspired by your work I decided to be the cause of a global pandemic too. And I want to learn from the best first-hand.
H1N1 Virus: (proudly smirks) Huh! Is that so…
Coronavirus: Sir, how did you manage to kill 50 million people?
H1N1 virus: (gets angry) That’s what they tell you? 50? I killed more than 100 million!!
Coronavirus: Please calm down sir, let’s get back to the topic… could you tell me how did you do that?
H1N1 Virus: (still angry) You just be sure to tell everyone it was more than 50 million!
(lets out a deep sigh)
They were dumb pieces of flesh back then and there was no way to make news spread so quickly. I had already infected 1 million before they realised, I was the cause of a glorious pandemic.
(speaks like there is no one smarter than him)
Coronavirus: (mesmerized like a kid who just saw new candy bars and zones out into his imagination where he kills the entire human race)
H1N1 Virus: (shakes Corona) Infected by yourself you brat?
Coronavirus: Oh, sorry sorry! So where were we… Ahhh yes, dumb humans.
They are so dumb they believed NASA issued guidelines for global pandemic and not WHO. I forwarded these messages myself and they are so gullible that they believe everything I send on Whatsapp!
So, what advantages do you think you had back in 1918?
H1N1 Virus: The best part was all of these dumb organisations like the UN or WHO didn’t exist. And when these humans were asked to maintain social distancing, they didn’t do it until it was too late.
I enjoyed it as they were fighting each other in their houses with nothing to do, no internet, no TV! Ahahahahahah! Those were the days… (goes into a trance for a moment)
Coronavirus: (gets agitated) They have been making a mockery out of me making memes and such. These privileged little pests!
I will ask master China to make a computer coronavirus so I can end this trolling.
H1N1 Virus: (hits Corona) You idiot! you can’t tell we are Chinese products!! They will find out we are of very cheap quality!
Coronavirus: (realises he spoke out loud) Oh did I say China? I meant USA (chuckles nervously)
Trump has been helping a lot. If it wasn’t for him people of America wouldn’t be out on streets protesting and giving me a good chance to spread. I bet you didn’t have a Trump to help you back then.
H1N1 Virus: (gets pissed at Corona’s behaviour) You young viruses have no shame taking help from those humans and claiming all the praise for yourself! You have no idea how much effort it took back in our day, you are just ungrateful pieces of low-quality virus unable to kill even 20 million people!
Coronavirus: (starts to get pissed at his behaviour) Sir, I request you to keep calm or I will give you a reality check!
And if there was internet and global media news channels in your time you wouldn’t have had a chance against me! You even have a vaccine now and are sitting in that rugged old age home in China and you have the attitude to lecture me?
I will get votes of all plagues and get you thrown out of there also!
H1N1 Virus: Bring it on you little brat! People are recovering from you and you think you can reach my level? You aren’t even anywhere near my class of viruses! Even Ebola Virus has more etiquettes than you!
Coronavirus: Survive this you old geezer! *Corona starts coughing and sneezing aggressively at H1N1*
H1N1 Virus: (prepares for a fatal blow) *Attacks with H1N1 germs and watery red eyes*
Coronavirus: (takes out the ultimate weapon) *shoots H1N1 antiviral drugs*
H1N1 Virus: (starts melting) I will come back to you for revenge (voice starts breaking) You will regret this…
Coronavirus: (starts laughing hysterically) I reign now! HAHAHAHA!!
Image Credits: @ayusharcher04
Sources: Blogger’s own views
Find blogger at: @divijajain
This post is tagged under: Coronavirus, COVID-19, Spanish Flu, H1N1 Virus, Virus, Interviews, Fake interviews, funny, weird