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If you’ve ever wondered why reality TV shows like Bigg Boss or Indian Idol are so dramatic, let me introduce you to the desi original: Indian matchmaking. Yes, our very own rishta system is the perfect mix of drama, auditions, eliminations, and plot twists—minus the shiny stage lights.
And guess what? Every Indian girl is automatically signed up for it after she hits her mid-twenties (or earlier, depending on how fast your relatives are working).
The Casting Call
Before you even know it, your biodata—a glorified matrimonial resume—is doing the rounds of family WhatsApp groups like it’s the latest Netflix release.
“Good at cooking, has an MBA, and earns well,” says your mom, casually ignoring the fact that your cooking skills are limited to instant noodles and your MBA is still in progress.
Meanwhile, your relatives begin their own PR campaign. “She’s tall, fair, and beautiful.” And let’s not even start on the casual patriarchy of selling us like shampoo bottles and creams with extra “shine and fairness” promises.
The Audition Process
Welcome to the Rishta audition. You’re the contestant, and the potential groom’s family is the judge.
First up is the filter round, a.k.a. Kundali milana (horoscope matching). Your entire romantic future is decided by whether Jupiter is in your seventh house.
Next, the “meet the parents” round. This is where the boy’s family visits your house, and you’re made to sit awkwardly in the drawing room while your mom serves chai and snacks as if your marriage depends on the number of samosas you’ve fried. Spoiler alert: it does.
Read More: “Thoda Adjustment Toh Karna Padega” – Sima Taparia Talks About Modern-Day Relationships
The Question-Answer Round
Then comes the ‘Kaun Banega Pati’ session. Questions like:
– “Beta, what are your hobbies?”
(Translation: Do you like sewing, cooking, or anything remotely useful for ghar sambhalna?)
– “Will you work after marriage?”
(Because working women are fine, but bahus who prioritise work over sasural are a red flag.)
God forbid you answer honestly. “Hobbies? Sleeping and Netflix. Kids? Umm, no thanks.” Instant disqualification.
The Drama Round
But the real masala lies in family politics. Suddenly, everyone is Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass on your Instagram profile. Did you post a picture in jeans? Scandalous.
The Grand Finale
If you’re lucky enough to survive all this, the grand finale is the wedding, which, ironically, feels less about you and more about showing off to society. Gold jewellery, a lehenga that costs as much as a car, and the constant pressure to smile even when your cheeks are cramping.
The Verdict
Indian matchmaking is less about two people falling in love and more about meeting society’s checklist. Fair? Check. Engineer? Check. Family status? Double check. Love? Umm, optional.
Sources: Bloggers’ own opinion
This post is tagged under: Indian matchmaking, rishta drama, desi weddings, Indian traditions, patriarchy in India, wedding humor, desi humor, Indian society, relatable, everyday satire, shaadi struggles, desi family expectations, matchmaking , Indian bride, arranged marriage drama
Disclaimer: We do not hold any right, copyright over any of the images used, these have been taken from Google. In case of credits or removal, the owner may kindly mail us.
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