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Stories of mourning have become the trend since the COVID-19 pandemic struck in 2020. What feels like over a year ago, has kept the wounds of losing loved ones to its hands fresh. Like a million others, the thought of losing loved ones consumed me throughout the past year until it hit me first-hand.

How Did It Hit Unexpectedly

Amidst the chaos that was hitting the world, our lives were going fine. Our family wore masks in public places, used sanitisers after touching any foreign surface, and washed hands with soaps.

However, it hit me and my family one fine day when my grandfather suddenly fell sick. He was running 102* C fever, but his oxygen levels were fine. 

Not wanting to take any risks, my father ran him a COVID test which turned out positive. Shocked, we did not know how to process this. No one in my family had been going out for the past months except my father, who was staying well away from him.

But we did not want to burden the 79-year old and hence maintained a positive atmosphere around him. We talked to him, gave him his favourite meals and made sure he was getting enough rest. However, fate had different plans for him. The person whose fever had reduced in the morning suddenly began experiencing severe oxygen shortage. 

Within minutes, an ambulance was called, my uncle held him in his arms and made him lay on the bed. As soon as my father told us the news, I had a very bad omen that he wouldn’t make it through the journey. Fifteen minutes into the journey, we got a call that he went into cardiac arrest.

Our world toppled within minutes. My family members instantly started crying and since I and my immediate family lived at some distance, we hadn’t been able to see him for the past few weeks and couldn’t say our last goodbyes.

The hospital refused to return his body since it was a confirmed COVID-19 death. However, after a lot of requests my father and my uncles were allowed to view his body from a distance. He lay all wrapped up in plastic, waiting for his turn at the crematorium.

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The Impact It Had On Me

The reality of the situation hadn’t happened until the next day. I refused to go to my ancestral house citing the presence of COVID there and started crying profusely.

However, a year later I have come to realise I was just trying to avoid reality. I quickly wanted to forget the fact that grandpa was gone and is never calling my name again.

The initial months following his death allowed me to move on quickly. The reality struck me several months later, and I subsequently slipped into anxiety. Several weeks of medication and a deep pondering on the meaning of life itself, I began returning to normal.

So if you ask me, how it is to lose a loved one amidst a pandemic, it feels helpless. You feel helpless because long after you lose someone, you sit and wonder what if they would have been around, had the pandemic not struck? What if this wasn’t their time to go? But all you are left with is silence because they aren’t coming back, no matter what.

Sources: Blogger’s Own Experience

Image Sources: Google Images

Find The Blogger- @Akanksh65505461

The post is tagged under- COVID-19 death, losing a loved one, pandemic loss, COVID-19 treatment, hospitalisation, cardiac arrest

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