Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we pick a famous personality and throw fake questions at him/her and in return, we receive fake answers. Why should you not take it seriously? Because it is fake.

If you still didn’t get it: This is a fake interview written purely on the basis of the author’s imagination of how the actual interview would have been if we got the chance to interview these famous (some, for all the wrong reasons) personalities in real life. In short, just have a good laugh!

ED Times: Greetings sir. So let us start right away, we’re sure you’re very busy. First things first, you said that you called us to clarify it to the world that the war on Palestine is not a genocide, though the facts say otherwise. Do you want to add something specific to this time-and-again argument of yours?

PM Benjamin Netanyahu: Yes, indeed I am very busy with reducing the population of this overly-populated planet. I mean, our scientists believe that this growing population is very harmful, creating a competition for scarce resources. That is why I say this ain’t no genocide. I am wiping off the competition, you know.

ED Times: Do you still believe that the genocide you’re causing, is justifiable? You’re turning deaf ears to the world, to the UN. 

PM Benjamin Netanyahu: Oh no no, they’re all wrong. We’re not stone hearted. My BFF, best friend, Joe, the President of the USA, is so kind. He’s helping me carry out this genocide… oh, I mean, this operation. You know, I am hearing the word “genocide” so often, that it just slips out of my mouth every time now. 

Anyway, we were talking about my BFF, Biden. So he has such a kind heart, that he has suggested dropping bombs in Gaza that will be attached with food aid. Mercy dripping off the bombs! 

ED Times: What about the mass protests in various countries, the boycott of all Israeli products, and the logical reasoning of various other nations at meetings in the United Nations?

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PM Benjamin Netanyahu: (phone chimes) Look at this. The countries which have been talking against Israel at the United Nations, are messaging me. See this one reads, “Dear Benjamin, please ensure humanitarian supplies while bombing Palestinians with weapons funded by our taxpayers’ money.

I just love this ethnic cleaning stuff. All the best for your future endeavours and do let me know if you need any help. Am just gonna go and prepare another beautiful speech that will sound good at the UN.” 

These cute humans express solidarity with Palestine, by dropping bagloads of cash over Tel Aviv.

What other powerful authorities are you indicating toward? Russia? Oh, I am so sick of these double standards. Calling my operation, “unjustifiable” when they themselves aerial bomb Ukraine. As if their Diwali celebrations are justifiable. 

ED Times: Double standards? Calling the war on Hamas an operation when it is clearly a genocide on the entire Palestinian population? Sure. However, sir, it is not just the world, but people from your own country are protesting against the ongoing genocide. What about their demands?

PM Benjamin Netanyahu: They aren’t Israelis. They’re Hamas. In fact, we’re gonna file an FIR against these anti-genocide protestors. 

(phone chimes) OMG! My squad has given me fresh news. They say that Hamas has a tunnel base under New York’s Wall Street as well. Interesting. Let’s see what we can do about that. 

ED Times: There have been talks of ceasefire quite a few times, however, they were just talks. Are you actually planning to implement them or continue with the genocide?

PM Benjamin Netanyahu: GENOCIDE. Am gonna ban this word in Israel. But answering your question, I am actually not sure. I’ve been getting calls from the UK. PM Sunak wants me to keep some of my war machinery aside, and sell it to them later for cheap use. 

ED Times: Well-noted. That’s all sir. We’ve just got the news that you have to leave to restructure your genocide plans. 

PM Benjamin Netanyahu: IT. IS. NOT. A. GENOCIDE. GOSH!

Sources: Writer’s own creativity

Image sources: Google Images

Feature Image designed by Saudamini Seth

Find the blogger: Unusha Ahmad 

This post is tagged under: Israel, Palestine, Hamas, Israel-Palestine war, terrorists, terrorist groups, genocide, Gaza, West Bank, UN, USA, United Nations, Joe Biden, aid, bombs, Benjamin Netanyahu, President, PM, Prime Minister, Tel Aviv, Russia, Palestinians, Ukraine, Diwali, FIR, Israelis, New York, ceasefire, UK, Rishi Sunak 

We do not hold any right over any of the images used, these have been taken from Google. In case of credits or removal, the owner may kindly mail us.

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