Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we pick a famous personality and throw fake questions at him/her and in return, we receive fake answers. Why should you not take it seriously? Because it is fake.
If you still didn’t get it: This is a fake interview written purely based on the author’s imagination of how the actual interview would have been if we got the chance to interview these famous (for all the wrong reasons) personalities in real. In short, just a good laugh.
ED: Hello, and welcome to Fake Friendly Fridays! Today, we have with us a social media influencer whose number of followers are……
(me trying not to look at her face directly in the fear of going blind from all the shiny, white light coming from her face and she constantly gazing and squinting at my clothes)
ED: Is everything all right? Is your seat uncomfortable? I am sorry we couldn’t afford the silk cushions that you requested for this interview because as it turns out, we do not get free stuff from brands every week.
Social Media Influencer: Such a shame! But, I can manage. Anywho, what is up with your clothes? I like the rustic on the street vibe of your clothes. Do you make it yourself?
ED (extremely conscious): Umm, no no, I got it from Reliance. They are quite good. Durable! You should try them out.
SMI: OMG, babe! Durability and fashion do not go hand in hand. Whatever, you look okayish in it.
ED (trying not to punch her): Anyway, thank you so much for joining us. Do you think your followers will be okay without you posting for half an hour on Instagram? They won’t think you are dead, right?
SMI: Wait, no posting? Didn’t I have to endorse ED Times on my Instagram page and say “Follow ED Times Guys”? This is all I know!
ED: Mm, no? This is an interview, right? A human to human conversation? This is where you talk about yourself.
SMI: Oh, that is my second favourite activity! The first one is telling people how rich I am. People think it is a show-off, but come on! Who is poor anymore? It is not like we live in villages na. Everyone’s dad can give them credit cards like mine does.
(me still going blind from the brightness of her face)
ED: I am sorry, but are you endorsing Bajaj Lights? How is your face so abnormally bright?
SMI: This is my “no makeup” look! After partying all night, I don’t have time to do any skincare or makeup, but I do minimal stuff.
I use a Japanese algae mask in the morning, followed by a gold facial. Then I do my 40-step makeup routine and before bed, I relax in my jacuzzi with gold oil essence. Who has time to do anything extensive, right?
ED: Yeah, sure. Posting 100 times a day in different poses must take up a lot of your time. No doubts there.
Talking about poses, how do you manage to think of one thousand poses in a day? Also, how does your spine allow your body to bend so much? If you wear colourful clothes and pose in a park, the arch of your back will literally make you look like a rainbow.
SMI: Well, that is just yoga, you see. I do yoga every morning. Bhujangasana, Dhanurasana, and Surgicasana are my favourite.
ED: I do not have a PhD in yoga, but from my limited knowledge, I can say that Surgicasana is not an asana.
Social Media Influencer: Is it not? Oh, man! My plastic surgeon said that it was. Wonder how many people I have said this to.
ED: Plastic surgeon? Have you undergone plastic surgery? But don’t you always ask your followers to believe in natural beauty?
SMI: Eh? Plastic? No, I am absolutely against plastic. It is harmful to our environment. See, I know important things. I also give the half-used products to my maid because I believe in zero waste. This is my contribution to society!
And then people say that I am pretentious and do not care about real stuff!
ED: Oh, then would you like to share your opinion on the state of GDP of India?
ED (feeling unsure of the question): Gross Domestic Product?
Social Media Influencer: Oh, it is pathetic. It makes me want to puke. I am so angry at the government for not taking any action regarding this.
ED: (surprised at her knowledge and feeling guilty for judging her too soon)
Social Media Influencer: I mean why would anyone like to use GROSS domestic products when they can order expensive and nice ones from Paris and London.
ED: AND we are back to square one! (feeling extra stupid for assuming she would care about GDP when even our media and government do not). Anyway, thank you so much for joining us. Stay safe!
Image Sources: Google Images
Find The Blogger: @TinaGarg18
This post is tagged under: social media influencer, fake friendly friday, interviewing a famous social media influencer, gross domestic product, brand endorsements, Instagram followers, life of social media influencer, rich people on Instagram, no-makeup look, social media influencer’s beauty schedule