By Pratyosh Gogoi
This week on Fake friendly Fridays, we have a very special guest with us, Mamata Banerjee. For our readers who don’t know the Thatcher of India and haven’t been to a gallery that shows her paintings, Didi, as she is fondly called, is the self-proclaimed iron-lady of Indian politics and crusader for all things non-Left.
Her remark on economy and knowledge of geography is commendable and will give any toddler a run for their nappies. She is the current chief minister of West Bengal, and probably will be for at least three more decades provided her bodyguards *cough* goons don’t goof up.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the epitome of love and compassion, Mamata Didi!
ED: Welcome to Fake Friendly Fridays, Didi. I hope you had a good afternoon siesta?
DIDI: Thank you for having me here. It is always good to talk to fans. As for the siesta, definitely. Writer’s Building is very comfortable.
ED: This might just be your first interview with a blogging site. How do you feel?
DIDI: Are you from Presidency?
ED: Err… No.
DIDI: Good. Carry on.
ED: Didi, your party defeated the longest standing democratically elected communist government in the world. How do you plan the longevity of your term?
DIDI: We are a party that believes in the doctrine “Maa, mati, manush” (Mother, Motherland, and People). We have liberated the state from decades of gunda raj and have given the power back to the people. We are nothing like that. We are social workers. Under a liberal leader like me, women now feel safer on the roads. We welcome all sorts of investments into the state unlike the previous government. Frankly, the people of West Bengal weren’t accustomed to such luxury earlier and the polls (definitely not rigged) suggest that.
ED: Didi, on the point of women safety, what are your views on the Park Street rape case?
DIDI:*with flaring nostrils* Shob shajano ghotona!!! (Everything is made up!).It’s all a CPM conspiracy! Nothing like that ever happened. There was no rape! This is Maoist propaganda!
ED: But the medical reports suggest otherwise…?
DIDI: Don’t you understand that everything can be rigged very easily? *wink*
ED: Well, that answers a lot. Thank you. Can you throw some light on your educational background?
DIDI: First of all, let me tell you. All the accusations about my false degree are entirely untrue. I was a brilliant and sincere student since my childhood and completed a seven-year law degree in three years. People are jealous of my achievements and want to bring me down.
ED: Very recently, your party joined hands with the Congress- once your arch rival- in the battle against demonetization. How did this coalition take place?
DIDI: We are a party of people with integrity. Plus, they love Rabindra Sangeet. We believe in serving the people with honesty and no one from my party has been involved in any scam, not even Sharada *wink*. We have nothing to lose, which is why the people love us. We are just standing up for them and their hardships.
ED: Very thoughtful indeed, didi. So how does it feel to work with Rahul Gandhi, the prince of Indian politics? (Check ED’s FFF with Rahul here: http://edtimes.in/2015/05/fake-friendly-fridays-with-rahul-gandhi/)
Didi: Rahul Gandhi is a true artist. He is beyond the realm of mundane truth and reality; and is in a dimension of his own, as is evident from his speeches. And since I’m into the arts myself, both of us connect on a different level. Also, both of us agree that there’s no aesthetic touch in the new 2000 rupee notes.
ED: Of course the problem is aesthetics and color, but you being an accomplished artist yourself, why do your party members try to curb the creative freedom of cartoonists?
DIDI: We support freedom of all kinds, but if you draw such cartoons, you are a Maoist. And why are you asking me this question? Are you a CPM sympathiser?
ED: No, didi, never. I want to get out of here alive. I guess that’s about it. Would you like to say anything to our readers before we end this interview?
DIDI: I welcome you all to West Bengal. It is the best investment destination and a paradise for free thinkers. Our geographical advantage makes investing here very lucrative. We are the gateway to the North East and are bordered by Nepal, Bhutan and Bangladesh. Again, Bangladesh is bordered by Pakistan. And that provides for multiple options in business.
So that was Mamata Banerjee for you! We hope to see Bengal in the light of her claims someday. Someday in the distant future. Until then, it’s goodbye from our side. See you next week!
Image Credits: Google Images