I Was Bullied In High School & It Screwed My Psychology Forever

In India, there are lots of taboos. Sex, menstruation, homosexuality, etc. One taboo which we fail to acknowledge is bullying. Here, it’s not called bullying, it’s “joking around” or “pulling leg”. It is a social taboo to call bullying by its name. FYI, bullying includes harassment and molestation too.

A group of friends making fun of another in their group. Ok. No problem. It’s all in good humor.

Now, what if that supposed friend of yours is a big huge giant human being and you are still to hit puberty. An almost 6 feet guy twisting your (mine, height 5’1 at that time) arm, holding your neck and “accidently” hitting your crotch is considered to be funny and all in good humor.

Let me tell you that if you have had done any of the above in your high school then you sir are a freakin’ bully.

Teen Picking on a Younger Teen

I have gone through few years of bullying as I was short and innocent in comparison to any other person who was in my batch in 9th and 10th grade. Let me tell you what has bullying done to my psychology, conscience and mindset:

  1. Hatred Towards Violence

I have immense opposition to display to violent actions/plans or motives. The idea of violence on its very face is unacceptable to me. Not all types of violence, but procedural violent acts. Shows which propagate this theme is not on my watch list. P.S. I don’t watch GoT. Never even liked the idea of it.

  1. No Touch Jokes Please

Being a humorous guy, I have lots of jokes to bind my audience in entertainment. My jokes may be racist or sexist, but it is never that I will make a joke which involves physical contact or casual violence. I DON’T LIKE TO BE TOUCHED.

  1. The Feeling of Bondage

Since the belief in violence is ruled out, if someone slaps me then I’m in a dilemma whether to reciprocate it or not. This leaves me with a feeling of bondage. I call it bondage because being a small guy in my bullying years, I did not have the option to hit back the big bold guy. So bondage it is.

  1. There’s Always a Fear

There is a fear that someday someone will indulge in violent tactics with me and all I would be able to do is to reduce the awkwardness by smiling or passing a joke. I know you’re thinking I am coward enough to not fight back. Let me tell you one thing when it comes to fighting, size does matter. And plus, with a history of bullying….

  1. Urge To Beat The Shit Out Of Someone

There might be hatred for violence but inside my cover, I have so much unused potential filled that imagining a situation where I smash my enemy’s head, make him bleed and cry, gives me pleasure and a little relief.


Well, Psychology is a tricky concept.

Take a break and read what these engineering students actually dreamt of:

“What Would You Be Doing If You Could Drop Out Of Engineering?”, ED VoxPop


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