Brace yourselves lovers, Saffron clad Cupids are coming!

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To all the young couples out there, this 14th of February, the Guardian of the Indian Culture: Hindu MahaSabha brings for you a golden opportunity to tie the knots with your partner.

The procedure is quite simple:

Step 1: Pick the Venue:
Didn’t you always dream of the perfect destination of your wedding? But to avail Hindu Mahasabha’s services you have to be content with the areas in the periphery of their office or those covered by their volunteers (parks, malls, restaurants, etc.).

Step 2: PDA(Public Display of Affection)
Reach the venue with your partner with either a rose, a greeting card or a chocolate and propose him/her aloud. Make sure the ‘L’ word is heard by some member of the Mahasabaha.

Step 3:  Take the ‘Prem-Pariksha’
Take a simple test where you confess your love for your partner and agree to spend the rest of your life with him/her. But wait, if you fail you will be lectured on the Indian meaning of love untainted by western traditions and your family will be called up to ensure that you don’t disregard love again in future.

Step 4: “Congratulations! You’re now Husband and Wife for the rest of your lives”
With no delay you shall be escorted to a nearby temple where the auspicious ceremony will take place. In case it’s an inter-case marriage, you have to undergo the “shuddhikaran” (purification) ritual after which you will be fit to marry.

With a simple 4-step algorithm, marriages have never been simpler before.  Cupids dressed in saffron surely need to be thanked for this noble campaign they have initiated.

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Well, except for Alok Nath who has been extremely grateful to the Hindu Mahasabha for making the youth SANSKARI, the gay community seems overjoyed because of such a campaign.

As reported by Faking News, gay couples plan to follow the 4-step procedure stated above and get married this Valentine’s Day. Hindu Mahasabha members are indeed the facilitators of love for all genders as the statement issued by them only emphasizes love and commitment which is not discriminated on the basis of one’s sexual preferences.

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Thanks to the Hindu Mahasabha once again for monitoring our social media statuses and therefore, making Facebook, Twitter and WhatsApp free from the love emoticons and cheesy proposals this Valentines.  For if you’re caught displaying your love on social media, Hindu Mahasabha will find you and get your married.

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After having set V-Day cards on fire, harassing youngsters out on a date and forcing girls to tie rakhi on boys’ wrists etc.– the right wing organizations,  this time have brainstormed and came up with an innovative plan to end PDA: instantaneous marriages!
When the Mahasabha has become so innovative, even the people all over the country have shown their agitation with creativity on social media.

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Started by Kerala’s Cyber Protestors, the movement gained traction with people across the country posting love letters on the campaign’s Facebook page; challenging the Hindu MahaSabha openly.

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The Twitteratis are no less. Tweets with sarcasm pouring in actually got Hindu Mahasabha to one of the most trending topics on the micro-blogging site!

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Saving the Mahasabha volunteers from all the trouble, couples have now planned to assemble right outside the Hindu Mahasabha office in Delhi on 14th of February. With wacky vows and dressed up in their wedding attire, lovers plan to be a part of a unique Mass Marriage Ceremony Delhi will ever see.

So all the Romeos and their Juliets, this Valentine’s day, don’t book corner seats in movie halls, no sipping coffee in CCD, sharing 1 cup with 2 straws, you know where you’ve got to be! Yes, confessing your love, somewhere in the vicinity of Hindu MahaSabha office.

Picture Credits- Google images

By Vaibhav Agarwal

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