One good thing that the MeToo movement has done is it has allowed women to be more vocal about any harassment they experience.
It has somehow lifted up the stigma and censorship that used to exist around the topic and made women brave to come forward and talk about something that made them uncomfortable or that they felt to be inappropriate.
The latest one to join into this would be Bollywood actor Esha Gupta who recently accused a Delhi hotelier of behaving inappropriately with her.
However, while we do have some sympathy for her, some of her own behaviour is questionable in its own way.
What Is The Controversy?
On Sunday, July 7th 2019, Esha Gupta posted on her Instagram story about how a man had been “raping” her with his eyes.
She also mentioned how she had to bring her security inside to get away from his gaze and that he was not only asked to behave but also eventually leave the establishment.
Along with videos of the incident, she also posted an inquiry asking others to identify him and even called him a ‘future rapist’.
On Instagram, she wrote, “This guy was literally raping me with his eyes. He was requested to behave thrice and then leave..then eventually 2 guards had to be around me..even the security cam can confirm this..who is this future rapist.”
She then went on Twitter and posted about it.
If a woman like me can feel violated and unsafe in the county, then idk what girls around feel. Even with two securities around I felt getting raped.. #RohitVig you’re a swine.. he deserves to rot— Esha Gupta (@eshagupta2811) July 5, 2019
On Twitter, she then added, “Men like him, are the reason women don’t feel safe any where. You around me with your eyes and stares was enough.”
Sharing a picture of the man concerned she stated that,
ROHIT VIG- the man who thinks staring at a woman all night n making her uncomfortable is ok. He didnot touch me or say anything. But throughout stare. Not as a fan, not Cus m an actor, but because m a Woman. Where are we safe? Is being a woman a curse! pic.twitter.com/gRXnqZ21Mu— Esha Gupta (@eshagupta2811) July 6, 2019
This started an intense debate online with some standing in support of Gupta while others being suspicious of her claims or downright calling them fake.
There were a few things I noticed from all the commotion created by this that I felt necessary to point out.
#1. Bringing Up Nude Pictures
Some time back, Esha Gupta did a nude photoshoot (you can read all about it here: We Finally Know Why Men Made Sick Comments At Kalki And Esha Gupta’s Nude Photoshoot)
Even at that time there was a lot of noise over how wrong that was and how inappropriate the pictures were.
But what confuses me now is why people are bringing those images up once more and that too as a comeback against her allegations.
I’ve noticed a lot of people online comment on what grounds Gupta is playing the victim when not long ago she had done a nude photoshoot.
This is very bizarre since I’m unable to understand the correlation between an official project which was done with her full consent and knowledge against an incident where she is being made uncomfortable due to the actions of another person.
Also, just because she posed for nude pictures does not make her available for every prying eye. There is a difference between work where everyone behaves in a particular manner and an actress going out to eat on her private time and then having to endure something like this.
The debate on an actress or model or for that matter even a sex worker for complaining when they are harassed in some way or another has to go now.
As a person, they have complete right to object if they are feeling objectified or harassed by someone in whatever capacity.
Their profession and what they do there does make anyone entitled to make her uncomfortable or like something they can use whenever they please.
Even a sex worker whose profession is to give pleasure through her body has the right to say no if she is not willing to participate in some activity.
#2. Only One Side Of The Story
The overwhelming bashing of the man, Rohit Vig, a Delhi hotelier has come as a bit of a surprise to me though.
I understand sympathising with the alleged victim here, but we also need to take into account that we are only seeing one side of the story.
In the videos, there is no point where the man is constantly staring at Gupta, instead he is standing with his back to her and then in the next video is talking to the security people.
As an audience, we are only seeing her story and not verifying all the facts before going on a witch-hunt on the guy.
Have we heard his perspective? Have we tried to check with the guy accused and tried to verify his side of the story?
Is it really right to just see one side of the story and judge the other persons character based on only on what that person is saying?
Let’s be careful before we judge someone, for we don’t know when things can become personal vendetta or personal issues with somebody.
#3. Applaud Gupta For The Brave Step
That being said, I would like to sympathise with Gupta and even applaud her for being so vocal about it.
No one has the right to make someone uncomfortable in a public place like a restaurant, and such behaviour needs to be discouraged.
Staring is a big problem in India, no denying that, and men do tend to stare at women for an uncomfortable amount of time. With women often just leaving that place or moving away from their gaze.
So if someone was staring at her to an extent where it becomes prolonged or super uncomfortable and she decided to take some action, then that is very courageous.
We also laud her for making him leave instead of leaving herself and creating an example out of this.
#4. The Careless Use Of ‘Rape’
One thing that really bothered me about Esha’s posts though was the constant use of the word ‘rape’. She even went to the extent of calling Rohit Vig a ‘future rapist’.
Even if we agree that her claims are true and he was staring, branding someone as a future rapist is extremely uncalled for.
Who is Esha, to give such a terrible and disgusting tag to a person, marking their entire character.
I would like to address that Esha, you, yourself are a girl who has been called slut, prostitute etc by many people online.
So you understand when people use terms and words carelessly, then how can you do the very same thing?
I understand using terms like harasser, or even the curse words you used are fine, since you are allowed to display your anger.
But calling him a ‘future rapist’ is taking it a bit too far.
Also, the easy way you kept writing about how it made you feel raped etc, I’m sorry, but aren’t you supposed to be a woke young girl who comes from educated family?
Then who gave you the right to use ‘raped’ in such a careless and classless manner?
Do you understand the agony of being raped? Do you know what it actually even means to be violated in that manner?
This way, even Salman Khan’s statement where he said that he ‘felt like a raped woman’ is not entirely wrong then.
Just because a woman is saying it does that make it right?
Please don’t make a mockery of the word and understand how serious it really is.
No one is saying not to voice out if something wrong has been done, but comparing it to a ‘rape’ is really pulling down the seriousness of the term.
Image Credits: Google Images
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