Nowadays whenever somebody mentions BJP or Modiji the first thing that comes to my mind is that I still have to link my PAN card to my Aadhar card and the deadline is fast approaching (although I’m silently counting my blessings that the Godforsaken deadline has been extended).
Such is the hue and cry our dear Modiji has inflicted upon us poor souls that all we could hear everywhere we go is “Aadhar aadhar and aadhar…!”
Because he is actually forcing us to link every goddamn thing with our Aadhar card!!!
Ever since the linking of Aadhar card to our bank accounts, PAN cards, mobile numbers and whatnot has been made mandatory, there has been a deluge of trolls, jokes, and memes on social media regarding how funny would it be if we were “forced” to link every single thing related to our lives to our Aadhar card (even the Aadhar card would say – “Please dude, give me a break!”)
Let’s take a look at some of these trolls:
Funny memes, aren’t they?
So I decided to take this fun forward and make a random list of a couple of things that our Prime Minister and his government may make it mandatory for us to link our Aadhar cards to in near future!
#1 Matrimonial Accounts
Just imagine this:
You have finally decided to take the big step (after continuous and unstoppable pestering of your desi mom) and settle down which brings you to finding that perfect life partner. Unlike those lucky bastards who are already one step ahead of you, in this case, you make up your mind to search that “soul-mate” on one of the happening matrimonial sites!
So you are about to make your account on Bharat Matrimonial when the news breaks out that every “sanskari” individual who aspires to get married has to link their matrimonial site accounts to their aadhar cards!!! If they don’t do that not only will they be branded as non-sanskari-anti-nationals but they will be debarred from marrying at all (or might even be beaten to death in the name of love jihad) *just saying*
#2 Your Tinder Bios
Exclusively for the 90s kids: now do not lie about not having a Tinder profile or not trying this dating app before because I know you do.
Now, what if Mr. Modi makes it mandatory to link your tinder profiles with Aadhar cards?
Probably your mom would be able to keep a check on whom you are swiping right. Every time there’s a match, there will be a ping on your mom’s phone with the kundli of the prospective future bahu/damad!
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#3 Your Mother Dairy Token
Oh yeah, this one would surely piss your mom off. Imagine the headlines saying “Mitron….from now onwards you would be able to buy milk or whatever from Mother Dairy only when you link your mother dairy token to your aadhar card!”
Probably will make the gau rakshaks happy.
#4 Your CGHS card
Yes! This could be very much possible because who knows?
I can totally imagine a scenario where all govt. employees will be forced to link their CGHS cards with their aadhar cards and when some poor BPL employee, who has the CGHS card but it is not linked to the aadhar card, need medical assistance the doctors will probably refuse to help him and he will die unattended.
And nobody will be bothered because he is poor.
Well, that’s not a highly improbable scenario to imagine given the current atmosphere (lots of poor people have been denied ration even though they have the ration card because it is not linked to the aadhar card).
So here goes my list of a few things I feel would create a lot more havoc if made mandatory to be linked with our aadhar cards.
Well, this was fun and I hope you find this entertaining as well because not long is the day when we would be needing our bloody aadhar cards to even pee in the open!
And yes, do feel free to add things to this list in the comments below which you feel might get linked to aadhar cards pretty soon!
Images Source: Google Images