Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we pick a famous personality and throw fake questions at him/her and in return, we receive fake answers. Why should you not take it seriously? Because it is fake.
If you still didn’t get it: This is a fake interview written purely based on the author’s imagination of how the actual interview would have been if we got the chance to interview these famous (some, for all the wrong reasons) personalities in real life. In short, just have a good laugh!
Hello, friends and enemies! We have with us today one of the many actors who have nullified all the talent that their parents showcased in Bollywood. Please give a big round of applause (we will pay you later) for none other than Janhvi Kapoor.
*cue the woman, clasped in a red saree designed by Bollywood’s favorite Manish Malhotra, posing for the cameras as soon as she enters*
ED: A very warm welcome Janhvi. We are so glad to have you here with us today.
Janhvi: I’m equally glad. It’s good to be here.
ED: Would you like something to eat or drink? Or shall we begin?
Janhvi: No, I’m good. Just had my bowl of tissue papers. *giggles* You know, modeling and whatnot. Gotta stay fit.
ED: Mhm. Okay so Janhvi, the nation wants to know, what brought you into acting?
Janhvi: You mean ‘who?’ Well, not that I need to mention but my maa was the one who had the biggest hand in my career as an actor.
ED: Wow. How supporting!
Janhvi: On the contrary. I have never known a soul more unwilling for me to enter Bollywood. I could only fulfill my dream after she left.
ED: Oh. But we heard that your mother, a legend in herself, joined you in sets during your first movie’s shoot.
Janhvi: She was present for the namesake. You know, the entire cast and crew had to be checked and verified. What if a better actor emerged on set? Maa’s requests to the casting crew would have gone down the drain.
ED: Fair enough. Have you ever thought of acting in your films? Or are you planning to just flap words here and there, and look pretty for the camera?
Janhvi: *gasps* That’s been my plan all along. You EDians are so smart! I mean, this is a well-known fact. Bollywood has never appreciated art and talent. Nor is there any place for it anymore. You just need to look pretty, be able-bodied, have connections, and come from a sound background.
ED: Of course. There are many examples as such.
Janhvi: *nods fervently* Take Selmon sir for example. He has not an ounce of talent but when it comes to the aforementioned, well…
ED: What about your cousins in the industry?
Janhvi: Gosh. They’re so famous. After maa left, we’ve all become a close-knit family for whatever reasons. But I’m happy to have them.
ED: And it curbs the competition too, right? None of y’all is good enough.
Janhvi: *finger guns* You know it.
ED: As for your previous films, your consistency has blown us away.
Janhvi: Aw. Thank you. You’re too sweet.
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ED: No, for real. The way you’ve given us back-to-back blunders with absolutely no acting skill, straight-faced dialogues, and annoying-uptight personality, it’s a shame you’ve not been nominated for the Oscars.
Janhvi: Who needs Oscars? Let the good actors have at it. Anyhow, we will be bagging movies in Bollywood. I mean, in all honesty, what does acting have to do with being an actor? *smirks*
ED: Thanks to the nepotism-ly Bollywood fraternity.
Janhvi: I’ll tell you though, I do try to be a good actor. After all, I did my acting course in California. It’s just that we have to offer what the public demands. And the demand has been, for quite a while now, questionable.
ED: Tell us Janhvi, what went wrong with Dhadak, and Gunjan Saxena?
Janhvi: Nothing in particular. I had to do lots of emotional scenes, and as you might have figured out already, I’m a bit of a blunder myself.
ED: Many Bollywood artists are. It’s okay. We accept you the same. Any child of Bollywood is unconditionally supported and loved, whether talented or not. It’s not like you had to do hard work and earn your place like others.
Janhvi: Absolutely. We too have our struggles though. *cuts Ananya’s call* We suffer a lot and not all star kids are talented like Hrithik sir and Shahid bhaiya. *flips hair* Most just fall prey to nepotism, we’re just on the correct end of the stick.
ED: We just saw your recent trailer of ‘Roohi’, which seems promising.
Janhvi: I assure you, I have not parted ways with my consistency. Anyway, 90% of the time my makeup has hidden my expressionless shots. But it’s better than Stree, I’ll give you that. Thank the lord, It’s a dark film, for most of the part.
ED: Not that we expect anything from you but sure, go ahead. All the very best Janhvi. We hope you either get over your phase and choose a career that is good for you and the rest of us, or start taking acting seriously.
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