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Do you ever memorize the lines you are going to tell your parents before asking for permission when going out with your friends? Have you ever practised those lines in front of a mirror to gain more confidence? Or felt guilty going out without informing them about your whereabouts?
Well, chances are that you have been over-parented. No matter how much I love my parents, they are always going to complain because of their slightly overbearing attitude.
If you have tried to convince them for a sleepover with friends, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Things go from petty arguments about staying out late to “serious” disagreements about what stream I should choose and why it’s not science.
They want me to be independent but won’t even let me go to a store alone, forget about traveling alone. And even if they do allow me a little bit of freedom to do anything, I will just be too scared and anxious to go out and do it on my own.
Also Read: Breakfast Babble: How Indian Parents Recall Their Own Crazy Incidents But Frown Upon Ours
Frankly, I was dependent on my parents for absolutely everything, and by everything I mean, if I even needed a pen I would let my dad know instead of going out and getting it myself like a normal kid. They had established control over the most mundane parts of my childhood just in the name of ‘protection.’
This protectiveness prevented me from exploring the world for myself, getting into those little troubles as a kid, making mistakes, and learning from them firsthand. Well, that is the point of growing up, right?
I obviously don’t have anything against them. After all, they did what was “best for me,” but when I think about it—all this over-parenting, possessiveness, and supervision on what I do and where I go did not do me any good and absolutely did not prepare me for the future.
My parents failed to understand the concept of personal space, freedom of choice, or that stopping a kid from living life on their own terms will only lead to a breaking point of unwanted rebellion.
And oh boy! I did rebel. I still feel guilty for picking up unwanted fights with my mum. But all I asked for was a little independence, understanding, space to explore, allowing me to make those mistakes, taking decisions for myself, and their trust in it.
But well, I think they did their best, and I guess I turned out fine. Apart from a little social anxiety, I think I am doing good.
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Sources: Blogger’s own thoughts
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This post is tagged under: desi parents, Indians, over-parent, petty arguments, disagreements, overbearing attitude, overprotective, independent, freedom, anxiety, childhood, dependent, control, mundane, growing up, kids, teenagers, personal space, rebel, freedom of choice, mistakes, explore, fun, stream, science, sleepover, friends, travel alone, protection