The ‘Be the Change You Want To See’ Girl!

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“Mom, Dad I give up, I succumb! But before doing that can I let my feelings out?
That day, I stood before you, not to oppose but to convince you. Not to demean but to respect you. I still love and care for you and I can never progress in life without your blessings. I can’t survive without you!
But you both seemed not to understand and accept anything. I again say it- ‘My happiness lies with him. We love each other’ and your answer reverberates- ‘It’s impossible. An inter caste marriage is unacceptable in our family and more importantly in our society’.
I still remember how Dad fought with Uncle Sam to get my tricycle back when I was 7, how I got everything I ever asked for, how you both fulfilled all my luxuries by compromising on your own needs! You both could do anything and everything for a smile on my face. I was an angel!
But today, when I say my happiness lies with him, all I get to hear is an adamant ‘NO’. Today the society seems more important. Why? What has changed in these 25 years?
You turn a deaf ear to all my wishes! Why?. The parents I knew loved ME more than the ‘society’. And for everything you say, we all know that he is a perfect match but he belongs to a different world altogether, right? He belongs to a LOWER caste!
You say-“Daughter, you always knew we would never allow this. We have done soo much for you and you are showing us this day?”
Yeah, mom, I knew that but I still did it! But do you think I never tried to get him out of my mind?
I did, I restrained myself in every possible manner! But my heart always said- “It’s okay to fall in love. Let it be. Forget everything else. Go on!” And before I could even realize, I fell for him. Our joys, our sorrows, our victories and our failures became one.
I always thought that, no matter what, you would support me but now I realize that inter caste marriages are still a taboo in India. Our choices are governed by popular beliefs and not by logical and pragmatic thought.
I could have easily eloped with him but something stopped me! Maybe it was your love. Yes, it was your love. Whatsoever, just let it be, you asked me to choose. So here it is!
No, no don’t worry I won’t jump off the roof! This isn’t a suicide letter.
I have chosen my parents over him. Somehow I can’t betray you both. I will marry the guy of your choice, not because I don’t have the courage to stand up against the wrong but because I will be the change I want to see!
I will, someday, be a proud mother who will not limit her angel’s choice! I will,someday,be a mother who will not let the vices of the society spoil her daughter’s life!”
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Till date, inter caste marriages are met with much resistance in India. And guess what? Those who love us the most stand in our way-OUR PARENTS. In no way, do they want to cause us harm or unhappiness. Instead, their decisions are driven solely by utmost concern but what pushes them to oppose an inter caste marriage is their reputation in the society. Even if he is the perfect one, they tend to care more about their ‘izzat’. Suddenly their beliefs take a U turn and irrationality reigns! Every time all we get to hear is an emphatic and a resounding ‘NO’!
Undoubtedly the ‘to be bride’ ends up sacrificing her dreams.
Ohh you still want to know the ‘THE END’?
Get that smile off your face, nothing great coming!

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Suicides and honour killings are the end result!
The Indian mentality hasn’t changed! And it never will!
Or will it?
Probably we can be the change we want to see! Or is it better to end our lives and let the world be as it is? Who cares, if he can’t be mine it’s better to die, right?
What do you think?

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