Breakfast Babble: ED’s own little space on the interwebs where we gather to discuss ideas and get pumped up for the day. We judge things too. Sometimes. Always. Whatever, call it catharsis and join in people.
In a world where we Instagram and Facebook all aspects of our lives aren’t we all forgetting the art of being civil and polite?
When was the last time you made and sent a birthday card for a long-distance friend? Can’t remember? That’s maybe because you never did.
I know what would you have done, the fact is you do too. You would have sent them a text or posted on their wall on Facebook which is perfectly fine by the way. We are in the 21st, god-damn digitalized century.
But what about when it comes to sending your sympathies and condolences to someone? Forget about posting something online, we don’t even know what to say when we really do meet them. It’s because our interaction is limited to just hanging –out with friends or go on a get-away weekender with our families.
Generation of socially awkward people eh?
So how do you say a word of sympathy without it being too much or too less? What are the high-toned ways to say a word of sympathy?
Well, take, for example, your friend’s wife died. You didn’t know her well. But still.
Reaching out in person is always better than showing support through a text even if you weren’t close to the one who passed away.
Also, there’s no time limit to show your support to someone who is grieving.
Many a time we are so busy with our lives that we don’t have time to reach out. After a day’s drill as soon as you cozy up in your bed, you’re about to nod off toward a good night’s sleep and suddenly you wake up with a bang, “Oh, shit I forgot to be there, and I should have been.” Your heart gets heavy, but you can’t go right away, there’s no time and this is indeed no time.
In such a case don’t be tempted to send a text.
In fact, a better time to personally reach out would be maybe when the person has had their time to grieve in private. That is probably when your move would be much appreciated.
In case you were wondering, a better guide would be to ‘know what not to say’, here you go.
In my personal experience, ‘I know how it feels’ is the worst you can say to such a person. Because trust me you don’t, whichever kind of loss it is.
Also avoid other clichés like, “I’m sorry for your loss”, “It happened for good, let it go”, “Even I had a bad time getting over it”.
Especially the last one. Don’t make it too much about yourself.
Honestly, your presence may mean more than anything to them. Just being there matters the most.
We subliminally already know what we want to say or the way we want to express sympathy but the problem lies with the pressure of performing in a certain way and that’s why we are at a loss of words so often.
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