Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we pick a famous personality and throw fake questions at him/her and in return, we receive fake answers. Why should you not take it seriously? Because it is fake.
If you still didn’t get it: This is a fake interview written purely on the basis of the author’s imagination of how the actual interview would have been if we got the chance to interview these famous (for all the wrong reasons) personalities in real. In short, just a good laugh.
This week, we have Rahul Gandhi getting quizzed on nepotism by us, with Kangana Ranaut barging in out of nowhere, cause, she has vagina re!
ED: Hello sir Good Morning, Welcome to ED
Rahul: *talking on the phone* Haan Mumma pahuch Gaya, Haan I have drank it, khana bhi yes, yes. Sone se pehle brush….we sleep in the same house, vaha yad dila dena. Ok.
*towards me* yes hello, hello
ED: Sir, would you like anything, tea, coffee?
Rahul: A cup of Bournvita yaar, and Amul milk mei banana because the last time I had it in Mother Dairy Milk and that morning, I woke up at night, I am sure you have seen the video. Maine thank you kia, Amul vale logon ko, the women who make up Amul, jinhone kaha kia hai, voh bhi video dekha hi hoga.
ED: Yes sir, I have indeed seen the video, I will make sure it’s Amul Milk Bournvita. Anyway, moving on to the interview. How was your USA tour?
Rahul: It was actually quite amazing, I met a lot of people, matlab accha tha, USA k log bahut acche hai. Trump chachaji is also very nice, do you know he can shoot rockets from his briefcase? Our main goal there was to tell the people, aap log that the Congress party is back and that we will work toward women empowerment and RTI in government.
ED: (that AIB Video starts playing in mind) Well sir, those are nuclear missiles, not Murga Chaap rockets. You spoke about how India runs on dynasties, aapko lagta nahi k time aa gaya hai hatane ka isse? Since it is so old and most people hate it?
Rahul: *in accent* Tum gareeb log apne aap ko samajhte kya ho, ab 3 guna lagan dena padega (makes an action of cracking a whip, then makes the swish sound as well)
Rahul: *cracks whip*
Door opens and somebody steps in, while coz I have vagina replays in the background
Rahul: *cracks whip*
ED: who’s that
Kangana: Arre Sharma ji, pehchane nahi?
ED: But mai toh Mehra hu
Kangana: Aur Gandhi ji, saddi gali vich kabhi aaya karo? Kyu nahi aate, bade foreign k chakkar laga k aa rahe ho. Mai kya bolu Sharma ji inke aur inki maa k paas toh bahut paisa hai.
ED: But my name is Mehra, and also ye mera interview hai, how the hell can you interfere?
Kangana: Coz I have Vagina re. Mai aurat hu. Tumhe kya lagta hai tum mard sab kuch kar loge? Mtlab jobs tumahre, high pay tumahara, bachelor party tumahre, sex k bad consequence free life tumhari, shadi mei ghode pe tum baith k aate ho? Can’t women have ghodis? We want ghodis. Mai toh kehti hu tum self entitled logo ko toh ek kamre mei band karke tala laga do.
ED: *whimpers* Aap hi karlo interview.
Rahul: *tries to crack whip*
Kangana: Hanji Rahul ji, dheele padd gaye? US mei toh bada patar patar kar rahe the, India is built on dynasts, arre tumne khud kuch kia hai zindagi mei?
Rahul: *in low voice* women’s empowerment and RTI in government?
Kangana: Arre voh AIB ka video maine bhi dekha hai, ye batao tumne kya kia hai? What have you done for our country?
Rahul: I am the youth icon, I represent the youth, the aspirations, and dreams of the youth
Kangana: Acha? 40 saal youth hota hai, Rekha ji ki toh middle age hogi and Devanand sahab must be just having his first white hair popping out. What have you actually done, policy intiatives and so on…?
Rahul: Ye kunji mei nahi tha.
Kangana: Aww, Chalo, let me ask you a question, seedha saadha, is nepotism good?
Rahul: of course it is, look at me! Look at Abhishek, we are such fine examples of this system
Kangana: The last time an Abhishek Bachchan movie was hit, you were in power, and ab dono k hi chances 0 hai so…
Also, matlab it’s ok for a select group of people to hold power, matlab kya ? Dimag hai aap mein ya vo bhi mummy se leke aate ho? Ek kaam karo apne behen ko bhejo, aapse better interview degi, coz she has a vagina re…
Rahul: *picks up phone* mummy ye log tang kar Rahe hai
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