There was a time when relationships were extremely simple, in India especially you had your parents choose a partner for you, you got married without much ado and then lived with that person for the rest of your life.
I know it might seem backward and boring to many, but in many ways, this was much simpler and uncomplicated to what is happening now.
The relationship field is changing every single day with some new act that makes them even more complicated than they already are.
Case in point the act of ghosting, which is increasingly becoming a norm these days since as per a study by the dating site called Plenty of Fish, the numbers state that as many as 78 per cent millennials have experienced ghosting in their relationship about 11 per cent have admitted to doing the ghosting.
What Is Ghosting?
The term is of the Millennial generation and is the act of breaking up a relationship by abruptly cutting off all contact with the partner which includes text, calls, voicemails, all in all, complete and outright ignoring the very existence of your former partner.
When you are ghosted or are doing the ghosting then one day everything is fine and dandy but the very next day your partner has vanished into thin air and you are left wondering what exactly happened. Is your partner (or former partner) even dead or alive?
Ghosting has also been called, by mental health professionals as a form of emotional abuse and cruelty that is done in a passive-aggressive manner.
This is done by giving complete silent treatment or stonewalling the partner from communicating at all.
Why People Ghost?
While you will find a lot of information about people who have experienced ghosting and living through the trauma of it, very little is actually said about those who ‘do’ the ghosting.
One always wonders why a person would ghost their partner in such a cruel manner and a few reasons of this are:
- Not Able To Juggle A Relationship:
In certain cases, one doesn’t necessarily mean to ghost their partner, but daily life and all that comes with it can overwhelm a person and they can lose track of their new relationship.
Especially in the case of a budding relationship, it can be quite difficult when coming out of the honeymoon phase to balance work, expectations, family, friends and your partner.
In such a case, the partner could be forgotten which could lead to ghosting.
- Don’t Want Confrontation:
Some people according to biology anthropologist Helen Fisher could just be feeling guilty about ending a relationship and don’t want to be confronted with their actions.
Fisher also said that embarrassment over their actions and not wanting to deal with the accusations and drama that follows could be reasons why a person ghosts their partner.
- Save Their Partner From The Pain:
This one seems extremely selfish and idiotic but it has been the reason for some people, that they just wanted to save their partner from the pain of the breakup.
This perhaps could be one of the most cowardly way to cope out of traumatizing one’s partner and then putting on a selfless robe of how you are doing a good deed.
- Fear Of Their Partner:
This last one does make sense to a certain extent, and that is if one is afraid of their partner.
Perhaps the ghoster’s partner has exhibited some less than quality personality traits which makes them afraid of confronting their partner and their reaction to the news of a breakup.
The Psychological And Emotional Repercussions Of It
As stated earlier, ghosting can be seen as a form of emotional abuse, which brings with it all the emotional and psychological repercussions that come from having experienced it.
It has been stated by mental health experts as well as the normal people as an extremely traumatizing experience since you are left in the air with no closure or explanation as to what really happened.
Some people can also form trust issues along with a small bit of paranoia with future relationships if they have been ghosted.
Ghosting can also badly affect the ghosted person’s self-esteem and dignity and it can lead to them forming negative issues that can not only have an impact on future relationships but their present life too.
The Exception To Ghosting
There is only one situation wherein ghosting is an exception and even the right way to do that and it is when the ghoster themselves is in an abusive relationship.
As talked about earlier, fear of one’s partner and their reaction to the breakup is a good reason to ghost someone.
However, the situation must be actually dangerous where the partner is genuinely scared of their partner and truly believe their life to be in danger because of any unpleasant news.
That is the only time when ghosting or disappearing from their partners’ life without any news or notice is acceptable.
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