Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we pick a famous personality and throw fake questions at him/her and in return, we receive fake answers. Why should you not take it seriously? Because it is fake.
If you still didn’t get it: This is a fake interview written purely on the basis of the author’s imagination of how the actual interview would have been if we got the chance to interview these famous (some, for all the wrong reasons) personalities in real life. In short, just have a good laugh!
This week in Fake Friendly Fridays, we have with us the self proclaimed Bengal Tigress, the Modi sweeper, the ‘Didi’ of the nation, Mamata Banerjee.
Didi has been the epitome of Indian democracy, the messiah of minorities, the face of opposition that will surely soar in 2050 because there’s always a next time.
Ladies and Gentlemen, please shower some compassion, burnol and memes to welcome our chief guest tonight.
ED : Jai Shree Ram Didi. Welcome to Fake Friendly Fridays.
Mamata: How dare you use your freedom of speech, you outsider! I will call the police.
ED : Didi calm down. Ami Bengali Muslim. Read the name again?
Mamata: Call the police and tell them to bring roshogulla for her. *chants minority appeasement*
ED : errrr… Didi shall we continue?
Mamata: *Keeps chanting under the breath* yess yess continue.
ED : So Didi the opposition is blaming you for causing violence in West Bengal and the doctors have gone on strike. What do you have to say about that?
Mamata: Shooob (Sab) Modi ka Aadmi hai! Tumi jaano naa. I challenge them. They will all pay for this.
ED : Okay, so let’s switch to a lighter topic Didi. You have been SLAYING the opposition after elections! I mean, through your speeches and criticism.
Mamata: I will stand against the opposition till death.
ED: Your death or theirs?
Mamata: Depends. Next Question.
Related: Rahul Gandhi And Janata Come Face To Face On This Week’s Fake Friendly Fridays!
ED : What have been your best political moves?
Mamata: People of Bengal hailed me as the Bengali Jackie Chan when I jumped on a car’s bonnet. Those were the days!
ED : *calls the valet* Take my car away! Didi why do you dress up in a simple white saree?
Mamata: Do you want me to wear what Priyanka wore to Cannes?
*awkward silence*
ED : What are your views about freedom Of expression?
Mamata: I am the protector of Democracy in West Bengal. I have allowed everybody to use their freedom of expression to criticise CPI and BJP.
ED: So much for expression! What about the non Bengali immigrants living in Bengal?
Mamata: I will give them the freedom to express their opinion in Bengali.We will give them an ultimatum to learn Bengali. Trinamool Congress stands for every citizen of West Bengal.
ED : Wow. Before we take your leave, I’d like to ask you a final question. How are you planning to defeat the Modi Government in next elections?
Mamata: *Points to a chair beside her* I carry this chair everywhere I go. I will sit on a dharna until they drop a victory on my lap.
ED: Sound like a great plan Didi. It was great talking to you. Jai Shree Ram.. err… I mean Jai Mamata Didi! (because let’s not test our minority status way too much)
Over and out, readers!
Featured Image Credits: Deeksha Kumar
Find The Blogger At: @Anam_Seraj
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