Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we pick a famous personality and throw fake questions at him/her and in return, we receive fake answers. Why should you not take it seriously? Because it is fake.
If you still didn’t get it: This is a fake interview written purely on the basis of the author’s imagination of how the actual interview would have been if we got the chance to interview these famous (some, for all the wrong reasons) personalities in real life. In short, just have a good laugh!
ED Times: Hey, everyone! Welcome to another episode of Fake Friendly Fridays, where we interview anyone and everyone that you can think of and that is not an overstatement. Honestly so because under normal circumstances we would not have been able to land our special guest today, well because of reasons such as their death.
So without further ado, please welcome Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi and Subhash Chandra Bose!
*Gandhi walks in with his followers behind him and dressed in a loincloth, as usual. There exists a huge hand mark on his cheek.*
*Bose ziplines down a helicopter, wearing a khaki uniform and salutes Gandhi, then proceeds to sit beside him*
Welcome to Fake Friendly Fridays with ED Times. How was your ride here?
Gandhi: It was, well, long. Since I was in Sabarmati, I had to walk to Delhi to your office. Honestly, it’s not the walking that bothers me, but these potholes on the road. Almost sprained my legs in places I did not know existed.
Bose: Eh, could’ve called man! I came in from Andaman, would have picked you up somewhere. Anyway, I need a minute, these helicopters are very loud. They probably screwed up my eardrums.
*Bose proceeds to drink some water and do some weird stuff with his pinky finger and his ears*
ED Times: Alright, let us get started. So, elephant in the room: you guys were fighting together, then became rivals, so what happened?
Gandhi: Oh, it was nothing, just a little difference of opinions. We still love our country and would love to see it become free.
Bose: Oh yes. Gandhi is willing to get slapped for it, I am willing to slap them for it. That is the only difference that we have.
ED Times: Okay, so I have heard about the 3 P’s that Gandhi has, could you explain it a bit more?
Gandhi: It is simple, it stands for prayers, petitions and protests. We pray to our Gods, petition against the unjust systems of the British and protest what has not been changed by petitions. It is a systematic way of getting them to listen to us and our plights.
Bose: Dude, they honestly do not care. They are here to make money and subjugate us. They took away that jewel of ours, arey, I am forgetting the name, oh- yes! The Kohinoor. I think we need the P’s to be about power, persecution and plunder. These guys have taken a lot from us for almost 150 years. It is about time we show what true athitidevo bhava looks like.
Gandhi: No no, this is exactly what you do not understand. With the power of the masses, they will be forced to stop functioning as a government body. People will be hurt, maimed and injured, yes, but at least they will get it done, and what’s more, I am there with them. Every time things go south, one fasting episode is what it takes for me to get the nation united.
Bose: With your method, these dudes did not sign up to get hit. Peaceful has to remain peaceful or we fight fire with fire. It is here that I declare, GIVE ME BLOOD, AND I WILL STRIVE TO ENSURE I GIVE YOU GUYS FREEDOM. I am all in, ready to die any day.
Also Read: What Would Have Happened If Mahatma Gandhi Weren’t There?
ED Times: Hey, calm down guys! At least for the sake of the nation, please do not fight. I agree that your methods of achieving freedom are different, but you guys need to look at the bigger picture here. You want the same things, that is freedom. So, please do not turn this into a shouting match.
Gandhi and Bose [in unison]: Okay.
ED Times: Good. Now we have a third guy waiting for you guys. We invited him here so that you guys finally have closure about the struggle that you had.
*lights flicker, Victorian-era music plays*
Please welcome, Clement Atlee.
*Atlee walks in and moonwalks(how?) into his seat*
Atlee: Hello there, lads! How’s it going?
Gandhi: Depends on whether you decide to leave India or not, honestly…
Bose: Oh, I am sure he will. The masses can be subdued by the military. But what if the military is not in his favour anymore?
Atlee [to Bose]: Alright, you got me. You finally have a royal flush and you are using it.
Bose: You’re damn right, I am.
ED Times: Manners, gentlemen! Anyway, so, Mr. Atlee, please tell us, who is a bigger thorn for you?
Atlee: Oh hands down, it has to be Bose. The dude changed the tide of military power that we had, all by himself. Gandhi might have stirred the people up and that was kinda important, but Bose wounded us well.
ED Times: Woah, that was NOT an answer people were expecting, but thank you nonetheless. I think this is about the time we have for this month’s Fake Friendly Fridays.
*Gandhi walks off slowly, dejected. Bose saunters off discussing some stuff with Atlee*
Image Credits: Google Images
Sources: Blogger’s imagination
Connect with the Blogger: Shouvonik Bose
This post is tagged under: Gandhi, Mahatma Gandhi, Republic Day, Bose, Subhash Chandra Bose, Netaji, Indian independence, 1947, Independence Day 2022
