So it’s that time of the year again, when once again to be socially acceptable you have to leave the warm comfort of your blanket and your COSY monkey (any animal) slippers and slip into an LBD to act “oh! It isn’t cold, I want to party feels.”
But why?
Why can’t New Year’s be like Diwali where you light candles and Diya’s and make it warm instead of making it colder?
You lucky Mumbai-Bangalore people, yes this point isn’t valid for you as you always have a beautiful weather, curse you and your weather man!
So why every year I have to drag myself from my one true love, my warm blanket to fight the cold on the dance floor. I’m forced to move like a drug addict to get some warmth in that land beyond the north wall region.
That one friend?
Everybody has those friends who start asking you about your New Year’s plans 5-7 days before New Year’s just to make you feel bad that you have none and hence you live under a rock. But it’s okay, you like your home and all the beautiful food that you get can delivered from your favourite panda, so why move your ass to go to some meaningless-boring-same forever new year party.
This is the same friend who meets you on 31st and while leaving says, “Now we will meet next year”, and then waits for you to laugh with that sheepish look on his face. This is every freaking year!
Those mundane new year parties?
New Year parties never change; it will always have guys dressed in either dark formals or very “Out of the school clothes” look and girls in those short-short dresses, which maybe have a heater under them. Because every year I’m in one of those dresses I feel like I’ll get hypothermia and make my grave on that dance floor.
Few days before the eve you start getting those same pamphlets and notifications (Maybe they photocopy it), that some world class DJ is going to be performing near you, so you should empty your bank accounts and come dance to his lame music. But believe me this DJ is not even known by his pind ke ladkiyan, world class toh durrrrrr!
And that’s not even his fault, because in that new year party he will play the same songs which you have heard all year and you will do the same steps because you have them pretty much rehearsed by now.
Since I’m in Haryana right now, I’m pretty sure I’ll be hearing “tare gin gin” and “tunak-tunak” this New Year’s eve.
Proving you are not alone and depressed?
It is quite a compulsion to go out because if you don’t have a 12 o clock “Mah New Year” Selfie your whole year has been a waste, a very Cinderella tradition I must say. And if you don’t have this selfie then you are still not over that 3rd ex-boyfriend with whom you broke up with 4 years ago, you are just sad.
You will get condolence messages with the New Year’s wishes saying “Oh you were at home for New Year’s Eve, Sad yaar you should get over him and party. Any how Happy New year, Be strong!”
It’s new year’s dude, be happy, why should I be strong, my dog didn’t die you crazy person!
I mean I like being alone and what is the big deal? It’s just the calendar changing, the world’s going to be the same even after all the lame-lame New Year’s resolutions.
But it’s okay!
If you want to celebrate your New Year in your bed with your blanket, a big tub of chicken and Choco-chip ice-cream it’s your choice. At least you are warm and cozy.
Don’t fall for these clichéd traditions.
Kiss your chicken at 12 o clock, TBH it truly loves you, it died for you, your Girlfriend will not do the same.
And skype your parents: they miss you. You bidge hue nalayak bacho! :P
P.S I know however overrated and clichéd it is, we are going to be in a New Year’s party anyway so just keep warm okay, and have a happy 2016! :p
SO much ranting for all this after all!
