Missed out on what’s trending this past week? Worry not, we bring it for you with a liberal dose of sarcasm, ED-ishtyle! Because you have to agree, everything Chandler-esque sounds better.
Week #1 of August and all the world can talk about is the Rio Olympics! With records already being broken and India’s slow start, Rio will top every news radar for the coming weeks. Apart from that, let’s take a look at what all sarcastic happened this week.
All Anyone Can Appreciate In Suicide Squad Is Margot Robbie.
As quirky as she is adorable, she took a pineapple to Cara Delvigne’s birthday bash!
After the disaster that Suicide Squad was, we can safely say that Harley Quinn’s probably got more sass than all DC comics movie heroes combined might ever have.
Vijay Rupani was sworn in as Chief Minister of Gujarat.
And the puppet-master (you know who, he cannot be named) has successfully acquired new puppets. Good Luck Gujarat!
Iran Bans Pokémon Go!
OMG. Pumping up supposed security concerns to all new level, Iran decides that her citizens are better off not chasing Pikachu after all.
Considering how life-altering this game has proved to be, we won’t be surprised if some Iranian files human right violation for being debarred from catching em’ all!
DU Professor Busy over Phone Runs over 10 Year Old Child.
Dare any professor seize phones from their students during classroom hours now? At least we are not busy killing anyone other than our own futures.
Muslim Couple forced to Deboard an American Plane for Sweating, Texting, and Saying ‘Allah’.
In another case, two Muslim women, who in fact work for the USA government, were kicked out of an American airline because the cabin crew felt uncomfortable to their presence.
This is a whole new level of Islamophobia. Would any white person be forced to deboard for reading the Bible? Or even Dante’s Inferno? No.
Assam Terrorist Attack.
A black rain-coated terrorist and his accomplices attacked a weekly bazaar in Kokrajhar on Friday, 5th Aug. Open firing and a grenade attack killed 14, leaving 20 injured. The Assam police have slammed charges against the NDFB, who deny responsibility citing an IS style execution.
Yeah, when you have no way out, blame it on fashion and get away with it.
That’s all for this week. When you get bored by the regular news end of next week, come back for some great scoop. We’ll be ready, you know, sarcastically.
Image Credits: Google Images
Here you can read past weeks issues:
http://edtimes.in/2016/07/last-weeks-news-sarcasm-arhar-modi/
http://edtimes.in/2016/07/sarcastic-news-last-week/
