ED Originals:
Breakfast Babble: ED’s own little space on the interwebs where we gather to discuss ideas and get pumped up for the day. We judge things too. Sometimes. Always. Whatever, call it catharsis and join in people.
Hello all! Rise and shine! Summers are here!
Or don’t. No seriously, do NOT rise and shine. It’s a terribly, painfully bright sunny day outside and the sun is shining enough without all of us having to add to its shine.
Here comes summer! The most irritating, terrible, dreary (I could go on and on with the demeaning adjectives) of all seasons.
Also read: Summer Resolutions: Good to Make, Great to Break
In practically every piece of English literature, poets and authors have been cruel to winters.
They have projected winter as a cold, unemotional, old man whereas they’ve been oh-so-gracious to summer. Spring and summer have been said to be harbingers of new life.
Okay, I guess the fascination with spring is understandable.
But are you kidding me about summer?
Having lived in a tropical country all throughout my life, I have come to bitterly hate summers. I don’t think my distaste requires any explanation so let me just tell you what I find so thoroughly disgusting about summers.
Even now, as I’m typing this, I can feel sweat dripping from the nape of my neck, traversing my back and ending in my butt. Ugh. That feeling when the sweat drop hits your butt is one of indescribable disgust.
To add to the continuous electrolyte loss, there is nothing to eat during summers.
Well there is “tinde ka sabzi” and “lauki ka sabzi” and that’s about all there is.
You don’t even feel like hot pizzas in summer; but it’s always time for ice cream. While that is good sometimes, one cannot live on ice creams alone!
God forbid you have a marriage invitation during summer. Not only will all the beautifully done rouge and blush sweat away the instant you step outside, but also you will get diarrhea due to food poisoning!
Since it’s “shaadi-waadi”, obviously there was good food, and you ate to your heart’s content but to your intestine’s displeasure. Now, deal with it.
Do I need to reiterate the perpetual misery the “eternal sunshine of the spotless sky” brings upon us?
No sunscreen, no lotion, no effing magical formula even can get that tan off your face. And in case you are deluding yourself into thinking it looks good on you, well, honey, you look more burnt than tanned.
Basically summers are our aestivation period. We don’t feel like going out, we don’t want to work and some of us would even sacrifice partying just to be inside our AC bedrooms. Alas! Man is a social animal and we have got to “interact”. Well, FML.
All this said and done, I’d like to take a moment to thank summers for gifting us mangoes and all the joy that comes with it.
Had it not been for mangoes, I’m not sure I’d be living to type this hate message.
Fellow tropical folks, do let me know in the comments below how and why you hate summers. If you love summers, good for you and yes, I WILL judge you.
Happy (or not?) Summers everyone!
