Breakfast Babble is ED’s own little space on the interwebs where we gather to discuss ideas and get pumped up (or not) for the day. We judge things, too. Sometimes. Always. Whatever, call it catharsis and join in, people.
Some people paint. Some people dance. Some people call their friends to rant at 2 AM.
And then there’s me, the self-trained, underrated, emotionally-fragile-but-still-cute artist of passive-aggressive texting.
If awards existed for “Best Performance in a Passive-Aggressive Paragraph,” I’d already be on that stage, clutching a trophy, giving a speech about how my introversion, my social anxiety, and my two cats shaped my artistic vision. But alas, the world is biased and refuses to acknowledge the creative struggles of a nerdy little baby trying her best.
I. Do. Not. Do. Calls.
Unless you’re a doctor, a delivery person, or Ranveer Singh personally announcing he loves me, don’t call. A simple “call?” message is enough to send me into an emotional coma.
So when I’m angry, annoyed, or slightly disappointed, I don’t shout. I don’t fight.
I… text.
And my texts have moods.
If you ever receive a “k” from me, assume you’ve disappointed my soul. This isn’t a letter. This is a tiny digital slap filled with polite rage.
A sentence ending with a full stop from me is basically my version of slamming a door.
“Okay.”
“Fine.”
“These are not fine.”
This is the digital equivalent of removing earrings before a fight.
My speciality.
I see your message instantly. My phone lights up like Diwali.
But I reply three hours later.
Not because I was busy, please, I was probably overthinking, talking to my cats, or staring at the wall dramatically.
I delay it because I want you to feel something.
This is performance art.
When I text:
“No worries”
What I actually mean is:
“I have never worried more in my entire life. My ancestors are worrying. My future children are worrying.”
Also Read: Breakfast Babble: Why Mom Texts Are the Best Comedy Show You’re Not Watching
Sometimes my nerdy side wakes up, and I express anger like a straight-A student writing an English essay.
It starts with:
“I understand your point…”
and ends with:
“I hope you take this constructively.”
Which basically means:
“I am being civil because my parents raised me well, but internally I am flipping a table.”
And the funniest part?
People still ask, “Are you mad?”
No, darling.
If I’m mad, my messages look like I did a whole personality shift.
Suddenly, everything is sharp, formal, and grammar-friendly.
My passive-aggression wears spectacles and becomes a topper.
At the end of the day, why shout when I can type “Okay then.” and ruin your peace beautifully?
Sources: Blogger’s own opinion
Find the blogger: Katyayani Joshi
This post is tagged under: passive-aggressive texting, introvert problems, gen z humour, text message drama, social anxiety struggles, personal blogs, indian girls be like, overthinking moments, humour, digital communication chaos
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