The term ‘mankeeping’ has been seen going viral these days. The term has, in turn, forced many, especially women, to finally question what emotional labour really means in modern partnerships. A relationship in today’s modern times is quite a difficult thing to keep hold of. At least that is what many people believe.
But, turns out, that this is only because the parties who earlier used to silently bear all the weight of relationships are choosing to no longer do so, or actively voice their dissent against long-held concepts in romantic partnerships.
This new term that is all the rage these days, gives a definition to the emotional labour women are putting in straight relationships, from being their therapist to teaching their male partners basic things just to keep the man’s life running smoothly.
While the concept began as a niche academic concept from a 2024 study, it has now entered everyday conversation, especially among women, who are increasingly naming and rejecting this invisible burden they carry.
What Does ‘Mankeeping’ Mean?
The term mankeeping was first coined by researchers Angelica Puzio Ferrara as part of her 2024 research study at Clayman Institute for Gender Research, Stanford University, titled “Theorizing Mankeeping: The Male Friendship Recession and Women’s Associated Labor as a Structural Component of Gender Inequality.”
At its core, mankeeping describes the unpaid, unreciprocated emotional and social labour that many women, mostly in heterosexual relationships, end up performing to manage their male partner’s emotional well-being, social life, and even basic life logistics.
According to Ferrara ‘mankeeping’ can be explained as “the labour that women take on to shore up losses in men’s social networks and reduce the burden of men’s isolation on families, the heterosexual bond, and on men.”
The three core ideas the study looks at are “that women disproportionately compensate for men’s lack of social support, that this compensation constitutes labour, and that such labour often comes at a cost to women through their wellbeing and time.”
The study revealed that one in five men in the U.S. lacks close friendships or reliable emotional support beyond their romantic female partners. At the same time, women usually build richer, more emotionally sustaining relationships outside of romantic partners.
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In a 2024 Instagram post, Ferrara further explained Mankeeping, pointing out its parent theory, that of ‘kinkeeping’. As per the post, the term was coined by Carolyn Rosenthal in 1987, which “named a type of gender inequality that can manifest in the family, particularly the labor women often take on to maintain connections and create a sense of harmony between family members.”
The post defined the word as a person “creating or carrying on family traditions, buying gifts for birthdays and holidays, coordinating medical care and performing all sorts of emotional caregiving. A form of invisible labor, predominantly done by women, dedicated to family bonding and magic-making.”
The post also defined mankeeping as “Labour that women take on to compensate for losses in men’s social networks and reduce the burden of men’s isolation on families, the heterosexual bond, and on men. This work is not always reciprocated.”
It further added that “Common forms of this labor include supporting men’s mental health, helping men develop better social support systems, and teaching men social and emotional skills that women commonly develop through rich friendships.”
In real life, this can look like: coordinating their partner’s social calendar, reminding him of appointments, helping him process feelings after a bad day, buying gifts for his friends or family on his behalf, planning social events, or being the sole person he relies on for emotional support.
It’s distinct from traditional “help” or occasional support; mankeeping becomes a habitual, structural burden, embedded in the relationship’s everyday dynamics.
Riya Sane, 34, a Mumbai-based brand strategist, speaking with India Today, explained she learned about it once she moved in with her boyfriend. She said, “I found myself ordering groceries he liked, keeping his wardrobe colour-balanced, even noticing when he needed a haircut. He wasn’t asking for it—but he wasn’t stopping me either.”
Women, now aware of the term and what it means, are choosing to create clear boundaries and trying to avoid falling into this pit.
Dr Anjali Venkatesh, a Bengaluru-based therapist, further explained that, “The problem with mankeeping is not just burnout. It’s the silent resentment that builds. Women start to feel like caretakers, not partners. And men start to expect that caretaking as love.”
Over time, the constant emotional over-functioning can lead to feelings of being undervalued, unseen, and emotionally exhausted. Many women report it pushes them to question the fundamentals of the relationship, not because of love or compatibility, but because the imbalance feels dehumanising.
Psychologists note that this dynamic can also erode a woman’s sense of self-worth: when one partner’s emotional needs constantly take precedence, the other partner’s identity and needs may be suppressed or ignored.
Mansi Kothari, a psychologist and mental well-being expert, was quoted by Cosmopolitan India as saying, “Early in dating, it’s easy to overlook emotional gaps because everything feels fresh and exciting. But as relationships deepen, women often slip into the role of caretaker—monitoring how he’s feeling, calming him down, or smoothing over conflicts. It can start to feel like you’re carrying the emotional load for both people.”
Rasshi Gurnani, also a psychologist, said, “In early-stage dating, mankeeping shows up subtly—planning dates, initiating emotional conversations, or checking in on moods. Women often interpret this as nurturing. But in long-term relationships, the pattern hardens. Women become the conflict managers, the emotional regulators, the social coordinators. What emerges is a ‘cognitive load imbalance,’ where one partner is constantly expending psychological resources while the other simply receives. Over time, this imbalance can lead to burnout and withdrawal.”
Kothari further added, “In India, boys grow up with messages like, ‘real men don’t cry’ or ‘man up. So men learn to avoid vulnerability with their peers. Even when male friendships appear strong, most of the connection stays on the surface—jokes, fun, camaraderie. Talking about sadness, fear, or insecurity often feels risky.”
Varinderr Manchanda, a life and relationship coach, echoed this sentiment, saying, “Male friendships are celebrated for their loyalty, but vulnerability rarely enters the room. Men laugh together, drink together, travel together, but they don’t share their inner struggles. That leaves women stepping in as the sole emotional anchor. A partner becomes not just a companion, but a confidante, therapist, and stabiliser rolled into one. Over time, that dependence can feel less like intimacy and more like a burden.”
Gurnani explained the toll this takes on women, saying, “When women are positioned as the sole providers of emotional labour, it creates role strain—chronic stress, compassion fatigue, even depressive symptoms. Many internalise the belief that they are responsible for their partner’s emotional regulation, which leads to emotional over-functioning and neglect of their own care. Intimacy then collapses into resentment.”
Image Credits: Google Images
Sources: Financial Express, Moneycontrol, India Today
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This post is tagged under: Relationships, women Relationships, Relationships trend, Mankeeping, Mankeeping meaning, Mankeeping dating, Mankeeping women dating, Mankeeping trend
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