“How Come Those Shorts Don’t Fall Off?” This Is What Watching Football With Your Parents Actually Feels Like

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By Suryansh Upmanyu

Father, I have a confession to make. I am a football fanatic. And being a fanatic, I watch matches every weekend, whether I have a Monday test or not. The problem? There is only one TV at home. So between my parents and me, someone has to adjust (usually my parents).

So for the last 5 years, my parents have been watching matches with me. And in those 5 years, there have been plenty of hilarious moments which I would like to tell you about. Believe me, Father, when I say that it is as much fun to watch football with your parents as with your friends.

I would like to highlight some of such special moments.

1. “What has happened to fashion nowadays?”

Matches are seen by football fans around the world. So the ground can be a pretty good platform to show your new tattoo. It might impress some girls, but my mom is thoroughly not impressed. Comments like this follow –

  1. “Looks like that guy has a mop on his head, without the handle.”
  2. “How come those shorts don’t fall off? Don’t you ever dare to wear your shorts that low.”

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2. The Indian Connect:

There is no Indian player in the English Premier League right now, but that doesn’t stop my parents from getting excited whenever they see a name which is relatively Indian.

Nani

mata

3. Getting quite a different insight into things:

(We are watching Man United play on TV)

Mom: Who is that guy?

Me: Rooney.

Mom: Rooney? That can be a very cute dog name.

I couldn’t hear anything for the next 5 minutes. My own laughter drowned out other sounds as I imagined my mother calling our imaginary pet beagle, “Roooo-ney!! Sit!”

(No offense to you, sir. After that day, my mom and I have nothing but the utmost respect for you.)

Beagle_puppy_sitting_on_grass

4. How do you say that?

Foreign names can be a little hard to pronounce. No wonder my dad cannot pronounce these!

balotelli

P.3-Cech-Reuters

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5. What was his name again?

Everyone has his own way of remembering stuff. When they cannot remember the player by his name, my parents remember them by their on-field antics.

Balotelli2

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Chelsea's José Mourinho

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6. And when the final whistle blows:

(After every match, without fail)

Dad: OK then, you go study now.

Me: But dad! Post match analy… (Sees the look on his face) OK, OK, I’m going.

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When I said I came here to confess, I didn’t mean that I had done something wrong. Instead, I just wanted to let out all the emotions which I feel when I watch a match with my parents. Yes, it can be really exasperating to fight over the remote with them. Yes, it can be really irritating to hear them crib about how I waste my time or how they are missing that day’s news.

But this experience is really special too. Whenever a goal is scored, we scream together. Whenever an easy chance is missed, we abuse the player together. We chant, “Messi! Messi!” together. And whenever a keeper makes a good save, both of them look at me and say, “When will you make such a save?”

Frustrating and still entertaining. That is what makes watching football with the family really special.

Image Credits: Google


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