1997. When great was not good enough, whether you ‘Yahoo-ed’ it or not wasn’t sufficient anymore and ‘thinking different’ became clichéd, Google was brought into the world. A small start-up search engine, initiated by two Stanford PhD students, slowly crept its way into our lives and took over the world as one of the top 5 companies. (Courtesy: Forbes Fortune 500)
WWGD? The basic question that is asked by all leading entrepreneurs before taking a major cooperate decision. ‘What Would GOOGLE Do?’ is now a way of life; with their strategies and way of transacting day-to-day work, Google become – all – pervasive? So what is Google?
- A Multi National Company? – Check
- The foremost search engine? – Check
- Largest contributor to solving your maths problems? – Check
- The biggest back stage starlet for your kick-ass college research? – Check
- The Best Company for Work, five years in a row? – Check
Yes, you heard it right. As some of you would be aware, Google won the award for the Best Place to Work, as reviewed by the organization “Great Places to Work”. Five years is really something special. But what is it about GOOGLE that has allowed it to remain one of the top revenue collecting companies by having THE most relaxed work environment ever?
“Hey Larry, I’m sick and tired of coding all day, let’s go take a nap!” would be one of the daily dialogues of a Google employee. Yes that’s right. The Google Nap-Pod to the rescue!
Hungry? Here, have free exotic food!
Pissed at the work load? How about a round of football! Feeling like Michael Phelps? How about a dip in the mini-sized pool (because let’s face it, you’ll never be Phelps)?
Don’t want to sit in a claustrophobic conference room? Well, take a ride on the conference bike! (Go team-building)
Super-pregnant? Here, have 18-weeks off with appx. 100% pay! Even for you, super-pregnant father, after all, you helped make that thing which will suck away your sleep for the next 20 years!
Sitting on her bean bag at the Google head office, the director of marketing, Lorraine Twohill, was once getting tired of going through her paper work (if they have any ‘paper’ at Google, maybe they use some cool air-pen and stuff….eh) looking like Rapunzel; so Goldilocks decided to go for a snipping. But with THAT much air-paper-work, where would she go? Um…office of course! That’s right! If you’re working at a place like Google, you get a free hair-cut on site! A snip here, a snip there and in 5 minutes flat you get a lavish hairstyle! Just like a bathroom break!
Speaking of which…. The bathrooms at Google, oh my my my… they have special TOTO Toilets, with heated and cooled water, water aimed at back and front cleansing, now, who wouldn’t want some front cleansing to make you feel EXOCTIC (Priyanka Chopra style)?! *insert blank face here* At least with heated seats you don’t feel the body heat from the previous person’s butt before, it’s all the same now *Ha!*
Furthermore, never has a company before been so diverse and accommodating to the sentiments of their employees or treated their employees like princesses. Usually, in the leading MNCs of the world, be it Goldman Sachs, Ernst & Young, Bank of America, the pay isn’t as great unless you’re exceptionally well-educated or an exceptional ass-licker, neither do they treat you like a living being. Robots. Slaves. Sloggers. That’s what you are, just their money-making machine, stuffed behind a cubicle for hours at a stretch and god forbid you have children… But here at Google, in 2004 a special project was announced to help out the working parents with a day care programme called KINDERPLEX (where children are treated as God’s gift to mankind and not the Devil’s spawn) where the employee’s child has access to free lunch and snacks along with a great education routine to keep the child in sync with the world.
Its awe inspiring to see what looks like a highly casual work environment is able to produce such enormous profits, more so winning the title of Best Place to Work at for five years straight. Not only are basic amenities given to you, but over-and-above perks. An undergraduate student working there will be treated and will be given the same rewards as a senior management official. So, what keeps Google going?
A no hierarchical system, an equal treatment of one and all, no official channels, so ideas can flow within groups, and as CEO Larry Page says,” You do not need to wear a suit to be serious.” The simple logic for Google’s incredible performance is that Google is a family that makes sure its kin are happy, and allow them room to breathe and take the wackiest ideas forward.
Take Project Loon for example. Project Loon is a network of balloons travelling on the edge of space, designed to connect people in rural and remote areas, help fill coverage gaps, and bring people back on-line after disasters. I mean who thinks of such stuff!
Critics, and there are many, would argue that a ‘fun and frolic’ atmosphere is just extremely unprofessional, and will translate into how the employees should execute their job. Well in response, let us consider that Google announced revenue of $15.4 billion for the first quarter, is the world’s most valuable company, and is driving projects that can change the lives of the people living in the remotest parts of the world. The employees must be doing something right, right? (In your face, stupid stuck-up-Banking-world’s-butt-licking-jealous-of-awesome-sauce-Google-employees-Critics)
And for those who still doubt the capabilities of the work culture, this is for them:
An employee usually goes through a minimum of 7-8 rounds of selection which includes at least 3-4 interviews. This is why they tend to take the best employees, who in their words have a level of ‘Googleyness’ that is off the charts. Once you are in, you will not want to leave. If you do, you will want to come back.
Besides being an obvious top-ranking company with its smart employees, Google is also always a step ahead in thinking of ‘Things-That-Could-Be’ instead of also improving on things that already are. It patents rights to these ideas well before even initiating experiments because they are so sure of their capabilities that once they’ve got it on paper, the field isn’t far away.
For instance, in the set future, Google is set to boggle our minds with the Light, Temperature and Sound Advertisement facilitates, wherein according to your situation – if you’re in a hot and humid climate – a relevant ad close by to your area – an air conditioner manufacturer – will pop up on your smart phone (or if at a concert, nearby dining area locations will be listed). And that’s how clever Google is; also patenting it, they have done and dusted (Road Runner! Beep! Beep!).
Other wonders that fall under Google patenting are
1. Floating Wave-powered Server Farm – Water based electricity generator to combat its large servers.
Throat Tattoo Microphone With Optional Lie Detector – Coupling an Electronic Skin Tattoo to a Mobile Communication Device to enable better communication.
Image-capturing Walking Stick – to give better, more realistic images of the world around us in our hands.
There are many more which will cause a hue and cry in your tiny brains making you wonder how they do it?
All in all,
Profits- High
Atmosphere – Positive
Ideas – Ground Breaking
Clothes – Formal Pyjamas
Ego – Non existent
Jealous Dweebs – Buzz Off
Cultured MNC employees – How’s the Salt ‘n pepper hair doin’ it for ya?
Apple – Don’t mess with us.
Androids – Kit-Kat, gingerbread, ice-cream sandwich = eat you your phone.
So my question is: Have you Googled it yet?
