Some might consider premarital counselling to be a Western concept, but it is interesting to see how new Indian couples are embracing it.
Also, local bodies and organisations are realising its importance and creating initiatives to encourage couples to participate.
Does It Really Help?
While India’s divorce rate is relatively low compared to other countries, there has still been a visible increase witnessed in the past few years. A Moneycontrol survey also revealed that divorce, once an extremely taboo topic in the country, is no longer contained to just the urban sector but is affecting rural regions as well.
The Moneycontrol analysed data from the Periodic Labour Force Survey and found that the rate of Indians getting divorced now has increased in the last seven years with the number of divorced or separated women in rural areas seeing an increase.
According to their analysis, the ratio of urban India’s divorced men increased to 0.5% in 2023-24 compared to 0.3% in 2017-18, while women’s divorce rate increased to 0.7% from 0.6% seven years ago.
An interesting rise was also seen in rural females with their divorce rate rising to 0.4% in 2023-24 compared to 0.3% in 2017-18.
Thus, it’s safe to say that more couples are opting for a divorce compared to a decade ago. This raises several questions on how the concept of marriage is being perceived by Indian couples and the issues they are facing. In light of that, the rising trend of premarital counselling is interesting and somewhat encouraged too.
Premarital counselling is seeing a wave of interest from urban couples with Delhi doctor Sonali Saini’s fiance Anmol Anand saying, “We both decided to go for pre-marriage counselling. We learned a lot about each other in that process. It helped us understand each other better. I am the emotional one and always want to talk about feelings. She is the opposite. Now, we both respect each other’s space” as per a report by The Print.
It has been said that premarital counselling can help a couple to improve communication, set goals, and resolve conflict all done with a mediator present who creates a neutral environment. It has also been said that it is important to let a couple know and understand each other better, as well as their expectations from a married life.
Premarital counselling can further help a couple explain their family dynamics and personal values and find a middle ground or figure out if that is something the couple can adjust to after marriage.
Richa Hora, a pre-marriage coach with a practice in Delhi’s Panchsheel Park said, “This (premarital counselling) is still new, but more and more people are opting for it. It’s not always about solving a problem. Marriage is hard, and we just prepare couples for what’s ahead.”
Trust-building exercises, one-on-one counselling sessions, personality assessments and more are some of the ways used by these counsellors to help couples before their marriage.
Dr Prerna Kohli, clinical psychologist and founder of MindTribe HealthCare, also believes that premarital counselling helps “couples identify their core values and expectations, be it life goals, career aspirations, financial management, or parenting. This is done through enhancing communication skills, addressing potential red flags, setting realistic expectations, and strengthening emotional connections.”
Dr Kohli also pointed out that sometimes these counselling sessions can result in couples finding “significant incompatibilities, unresolved conflicts, or serious concerns” and that she highlights these issues and encourages further reflection along with offering support so they can make an informed decision.
According to Kohli though studies show how “for couples who participate in premarital counselling, the divorce rate drops significantly to 20 per cent or less.”
A report by Mind Voyage, a Mumbai-based mental health organisation & online counselling service, also claimed that an early 2000s research from the USA proposed that premarital counselling can result in a 31% reduction in divorce rates.
Another 2012 research found that couples who went to premarital counselling enjoyed a stronger relationship and higher marital satisfaction compared to those who did not attend.
A 2023 study from Egypt also claimed something similar, claiming that “pre-marital counselling positively impacted the marital satisfaction of newly-wed couples,” while a 2021 study found that this type of counselling helped newly-wed couples gain communication skills that would improve their marital stability.
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Initiatives Taken Across The States
This is not the first time that premarital counselling has been encouraged especially by local authorities and organisations.
Recently, Pravati Parida the Deputy Chief Minister of Odisha, also announced that the state government planned to open pre-marriage counselling centres.
Parida, speaking at the 32nd foundation day ceremony of the State Commission for Women (SCW), discussed how Vijaya Rahatkar, chairperson of the National Commission for Women, proposed the idea and that the state government would soon implement it.
She said these centres would be called ‘Mother’s Court’ or ‘Maa ra Chhata’.
According to the Deputy CM, there are several reasons behind young couples witnessing an increase in divorce rate in the country and rising marital discord.
Thus, trained mental health professionals in these counselling centres will offer help in many areas including conflict resolution, emotional support, and assistance for couples. Villages will also be included in this with meetings conducted at their level to ensure it gets maximum awareness.
In September last year, the Kerala Women’s Commission proposed making premarital counselling mandatory at the local self-government level before couples register for marriage. This was done after reviewing the marital complaints they’d received and believing that such counselling could address several of those root causes.
In a statement, P Satheedevi, Chairperson of the Commission said, “Most of the grievances we encounter are related to conflicts within the husband-wife relationship. The absence of harmony and affection between partners is evident.”
According to her, the lack of understanding between spouses is a common reason for the discourse especially when it comes to the family and marital dynamics.
The Commission also stated, “Premarital counselling could offer a viable solution to these issues by equipping couples with the tools and insights needed to navigate their marital journey more effectively.”
In September last year, the Peruvayal Grama Panchayat in Kozhikode also made a pre-marital counselling certificate mandatory, without which couples could not register their marriage.
Although the Panchayat has offered the pre-marital counselling program for some time, many have not attended because it is voluntary.
The Kozhikode district came upon this decision after seeing an alarming rise in the number of divorce cases with reports claiming that almost 70% of the separation applications were submitted by women. This is a first-of-its-kind initiative that offers free-of-cost pre-and-post-marital counselling.
The counselling sessions cover a wide range of topics that a couple could encounter after marriage including communication, love and sex, personal hygiene, finances, beliefs and values, parenting, family relationships, and decision-making. Post-marriage counselling targets issues that could arise after marriage, helping couples to address and overcome them.
Image Credits: Google Images
Sources: The Print, Deccan Herald, Times of India
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This post is tagged under: Premarital Counselling, Premarital Counselling India, India, indian marriage, India marriage
Disclaimer: We do not hold any right, or copyright over any of the images used, these have been taken from Google. In case of credits or removal, the owner may kindly mail us.
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