Orange is the new black; black is the new black, hell maroon might be the new black but nudity, that’s the new normal. Does it make sense? Absolutely not; but then again, has mankind ever?
Over a million years ago, when we accepted nature as it came, rocking that mammoth skin crop-top while feeling the warm breeze on our bare hoo-haas, nobody sat there behind stone-phablets carving out insults as to how clothing themselves was body-shaming *pun intended*; so why start now?
Why point fingers at the likes of Kim K or Miley Cyrus when nobody bats an eyelid if their neighbour is a nudist?
So let me walk you through my observation of this latest fad where an Allergy to clothing has suddenly spread like a plague:
NUDE, NUDER, ‘NUDIST’ –
Yes, Nudism. It’s a thing now. It’s a thing for people who deem clothes as a sin and mind you, it isn’t a new concept but because like all things western, Americans thought of it as a trend. Hence, morality was left far behind as real-life adults binged on the fact that embracing their sexuality in confidence of their body, wasn’t such a bad theory after all. No I don’t mean to be Creepy McJudgington, but I will say this, even though ‘Nudism’ is a great plot line for Pornography, it somehow doesn’t quite fit into my fashion sense…
Now being a nudist has become a way of life for some and we should take it as it comes, the worst part about it is, however, the same social media maniacs who enjoy them under the dark night sky are the ones who criticise them during the day…well don’t strangle what you enjoy, that too with the same hand. I’m not gonna write a thesis on Nudists but I what I will say is that they’re embracing life in all ‘bareness’ of the situation, so who are we to protest in hatred of?
KIM K, MILEY K, AND OTHER Ks WHO ‘BORE’-ALL –
Only recently, Kim Kardashian posted yet another nude selfie with just black strips covering her VERY controversial, yet sought after parts but got slammed for supposed body-shaming…But why? Why was she given the tag of a ‘Bad Role Model’? Just because she has two children and a massive following with all the weight of being a ‘Classic Donna Reed 2.0’?
On a very celebrated Women’s day, the ‘female’ socialite faced cyber-abuse against her pin-striped-poser, to which she retorted with a surprisingly grammatically correct letter for her haters (which to my dismay, didn’t have an array of the word ‘Like’) …alas, controversy’s child did shut some filthy tweets up but not for long, is my guess. I remember when Miley Cyrus released her video for wrecking ball in which she made ballsy love to all metal elements, nobody really showed her the tongue…and she was barely twenty…but then again, if these celebs want us to see a side of them that we haven’t already been blessed with, then they better have swallow their selfie-camera.
NUDE NESTLE, CLOTHED PLAYBOY AND HUMAN STUPIDITY
Now, one would say, “Oh look, Kimmy or Kylie stripped again, *Haw Haw* *body shame, body shame*”, but if Angelina Jolie did it, people would sing songs about ‘Her Choice, Women Empowerment, what if Hilary Clinton did that?’ And yadda yadda yadda. Basically if the big guns were to do it, then they would be applauded for a modern-bold outlook, which leads us to Nestlé .
So last year, Nestlé came out with a surprisingly un-Nestlé ad-campaign wherein they created a ‘Bliss Café’ *if you know what I mean* only to have nude baristas smeared with body paint all over, to serve you your morning dose of caffeine. Yes. Bliss Café to promote their ‘All-Natural-My-Eyes-Are-Up-Here’ creamer. I don’t even know what to say but thumbs up Nestlé – You pulled a Klassy Kardashian!
Do you know what’s even more baffling in the year 2016? No, not Donald Trump humping the U.S. elections nor the 200 buck smartphone, but an ALL clothed Playboy. Yes, that’s right, known as a collector’s edition, Playboy released this March their very first No-Nudity copy…Yes, that’s completely contrary because the expected pulled an unexpected while we unexpected the expected…aaand you lost me. But anywho, the only nudity you see in that edition are the puns used creatively by advertisers to bring out their beautiful naturism, trying to act coy in the pages of a pictoral erotica.
To tie up my haphazard piece, let me draw out my final conclusion – if they aren’t personally destroying your life, you’re nobody to judge their display of lemons…For all you know, it’s a part of the virgin sacrifice….
