Who said trends are only a young man’s game? Nowadays, Indian parents are also coming up with their own trends, particularly for parenting styles and what they find works or does not work.
Gentle parenting was all the rage until a few years ago, when people began to choose a more gentle approach to dealing with their children, avoiding any kind of aggression. However, in recent years, many Indian parents have struggled with this concept that emphasises empathy, respect, and understanding between parent and child.
Not because it doesn’t have merits, but because some parents find it emotionally exhausting and challenging to implement consistently. This has led to a growing interest in an alternative approach known as “FAFO parenting.” But what is this new concept, and why is it becoming popular?
What Is “FAFO Parenting”?
The latest parenting trend rising in popularity is that of ‘FAFO parenting,’ where FAFO stands for ‘F*** Around and Find Out’ or its more diplomatic version ‘Figure It Out For Yourself.’
This concept is one where parents allow their children to experience the consequences of their actions instead of trying to prevent any mistakes from happening.
It is said that this encourages independence and resilience in children by letting them learn from their mistakes and navigate the challenges they encounter.
Essentially, it means that while the parent will inquire and warn if necessary a kid about whatever they are about to do, if they still insist on doing it, then the parents will not stand in the way. So if the child insists on doing something, disregarding any warning by the parent, they must also be ready to face the consequences of their actions.
Gayatri Sethi Jain, a 34-year-old mother speaking with The Indian Express, said how “One winter, I kept insisting they (the children) wear sweaters and was met with endless resistance. Finally, I let it be. Within minutes of stepping out, they were cold and reached for the sweaters themselves. That day I realised that one real experience was worth ten lectures.”
Jain also added that “Gentle parenting alone left me drained and my kids unprepared” and how FAFO “respects their intelligence, teaches accountability, and prepares them for real-world systems where not everything comes with a warning.”
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Jitendra Karsan, chairman of Safari Kid, also spoke about how, while gentle parenting is popular, its real-life application can be difficult all the time, and “it’s great in theory, but some feel it leaves kids without clear boundaries.”
He also said, “FAFO parenting can frustrate children, but it quickly teaches them cause and effect. Done thoughtfully, it builds resilience and decision-making. Done harshly, it risks denting confidence or fuelling rebellion.”
Dr Deepak Gupta, child and adolescent psychiatrist, senior consultant, Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, New Delhi, also agrees with this parenting style.
Gupta told India Today that, “This approach believes that natural consequences support the development of critical thinking skills by allowing children to feel empowered in their decision-making, rather than simply following directives from authority figures.”
Priyanka Kapoor, a Mumbai-based couple and family counsellor, psychotherapist, and psychologist, also added that the rising problem with gentle parenting is that “People are tired of explaining and being kind to children. Children are taking advantage of politeness and patience, and parents are losing patience.”
Riddhi Doshi Patel, a Mumbai-based child psychologist and parenting counsellor, commented that “With gentle parenting, the support needed to be 100 per cent. Even if you wanted to discipline a child, you’d point it out gently once or avoid discipline altogether.
Over time, kids started taking their parents for granted. Parents were stressed, especially during and after the pandemic, when behavioural changes weren’t showing up despite all the patience and calmness.”
Patel adds that with FAFO, “The idea is simple: you explain, you warn, and if the child still does it, then the responsibility is theirs… Parents like this because they grew up with very authoritative parents and wanted to break away from that. Many went all-in on gentle parenting because social media made it seem like the only ‘right’ way. But now, they want balance.”
It’s important to remember, though, that FAFO parenting isn’t about letting kids run wild; instead, it’s about calculated letting go.
One mother, Shweta Sharma Bhardwaj, told The Indian Express that she stopped reminding her son about meals while he was busy playing; when time came and the food was cold, he refused it and eventually began eating on time without reminders.
Another, Chetna Israni, a working mother, follows what she calls the “75‑25 rule”: “About 75 per cent of parenting is conscious—gentle guidance and communication. The remaining 25 per cent is about letting consequences play out. If my teen prepares last‑minute for a test, I don’t rescue her. A lower score is her lesson.”
Parenting coach Jayati Agarwal also said that “Children raised with FAFO may appear outspoken or independent, unsettling elders who equate compliance with respect. But these kids are better prepared for the future.”
Image Credits: Google Images
Sources: The Indian Express, India Today, The Wall Street Journal
Find the blogger: @chirali_08
This post is tagged under: Indian Parents, gentle parenting, parenting, parenting trend, Indian Parents trend, fafo, fafo meaning, fafo parenting, fafo parenting trend
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