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I believe everyone has a go-to morning habit. Something they’ve been doing for years on end. My go-to morning habit is overthinking.
Every single morning, I have exactly two things waiting for me. My alarm, beeping uncontrollably, and my anxiety.
Because I know for a fact that the moment I check my phone, the first thing that hits my brain is my overthinking. Suddenly, I am panicking over incomplete tasks, commitments I might have made and possibly forgotten, assignments, deadlines, or even the thought that I am not overthinking about them enough.
And all of this happens within just five minutes of waking up.
The day hasn’t even started. Nobody has scolded me. No official deadlines have passed. And yet, the anxiety creeps in the second I am awake. It makes me feel like I am already behind, like I am doing something terribly wrong without knowing what it is.
Will you believe it if I say that I am in college now, but some days I still wake up to the sound of my alarm and panic that I have missed my school bus? Isn’t that weird?
Or is it just me?
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I know that I can overanalyse and overthink any situation. It could be something as simple as turning on the fan, but my brain will somehow convince me that the fan is going to fall on me. And at this point, I don’t even take it seriously anymore.
Because, in a very strange way, I think that’s where my creativity comes from.
I can imagine every possible outcome to situations that might never even happen. It’s as if my mind never stops thinking. Sometimes it feels exhausting. Sometimes it sends me spiralling into anxiety that wasn’t really needed in the first place.
Maybe that’s why I write. Because my habit of overthinking gives me the craziest ideas. Sometimes a little too extreme, but also weirdly amusing.
Coming to think of it, maybe I’m romanticising it too much. Maybe this doesn’t even make sense.
Or maybe I’m just overthinking my overthinking itself.
Maybe?
Sources: Blogger’s own opinion
Find the blogger: @shubhangichoudhary_29
This post is tagged under: Overthinking, Morning anxiety, Anxiety and routine, College life, Creative thinking, Mental health reflections, Personal essay, Writing as therapy, Thought spirals, Daily anxiety, Inner monologue, Student life, Creative mind, Self-reflection, Relatable writing, Emotional wellbeing, Young adulthood, Mindfulness struggles
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