Breakfast Babble is ED’s own little space on the interwebs where we gather to discuss ideas and get pumped up (or not) for the day. We judge things, too. Sometimes. Always. Whatever, call it catharsis and join in, people.
You know, I have come to realise a particular truth about myself. I am witty. Like, absolutely full of wit.
I don’t mean the “I know the answers to every question” kind; I mean the “If I give a reply, you won’t know what else to say” sort of witty.
But this talent also comes with a problem: poor timing.
See, the thing is, my brain loves to come up with elite comebacks, but… never when I need them.
The moment I find myself in a fight, or even a small disagreement, my entire system shuts down. It’s as if my brain voluntarily concludes, “Looks like I need to work now. Let me not.”
And I stand there frozen, as if I’ve seen a ghost. I’ll either blink a thousand times before tears stream down my cheeks or smile awkwardly, with a mouth so dry it feels as though I’ve swallowed balls of cotton, and display an expression that says, “Your words don’t hurt me”, which is ironic because I definitely don’t even believe that.
The problem isn’t that I lack answers to snarky comments, but that they never come to me at the right moment.
The instant a fight ends, and there’s no chance to go back and deliver a reply, is when I’ll come up with the most savage, the most mouth-shutting comeback no one was ever prepared for.
The moment I’m lying on my bed or taking a shower is when my brain wakes up like, “Oh, NOW? NOW should I start?”
Suddenly, I’m coming up with comebacks so good I swear I hear background music. Replies that could’ve shut the whole room down, replies that could’ve made the other person rethink their life choices, replies that finally prove I am not, in fact, a pushover.
But by then, the argument is history.
Read More: Breakfast Babble: I Am The Artist Of Sending Passive-Aggressive Texts
At this point, I’ve come to accept that this is how my brain works. However, I’d still like to believe that I’m the kind of person who chooses not to show off my talent to the world.
Here’s another way to see it: maybe I’m not late, maybe everyone else is just painfully early.
And while the world sees me as that quiet, awkward person who “lets things go”, only I know the truth: I absolutely did not let it go.
Because in my head, I absolutely destroyed you.
Sources: Blogger’s own opinion
Find the blogger: @shubhangichoudhary_29
This post is tagged under: Late comeback syndrome, Relatable humour, Overthinking, Gen Z relatable, Witty but late, Self narrative, Inner monologue, Anxious girl humour, Social awkwardness, Shower thoughts, Quiet people loud minds, Witty but silent, Storytime, Personal essay, Relatable content, Funny blog, Gen Z writing, Life thoughts
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