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Some people fear snakes or heights. I fear small talk. As I turn into a villain, sensing it.
It’s the polite social ritual that feels like emotional beige, safe, neutral, meaningless. Every time someone beams, “Hey! How are you?” my brain short-circuits. Because… do they actually want to know? Or are we both just running the same social script, pretending everything’s fine while quietly disintegrating inside?
Honestly, I’d love to answer truthfully. To say, “Actually, I’ve been overthinking my entire existence while bingeing on iced coffee and denial.” But that’s apparently too much for the aunty at a family function who just wanted to say hello before asking when I’m getting married.
Small talk in India isn’t really small; it’s invasive in disguise.
It starts with “How are you?” and ends with “Beta, how much do you earn now?” followed by unsolicited life advice. Every conversation feels like a polite ambush.
Even friends do it. “Hey, what’s up?” “Nothing much, you?” We exchange automated lines like broken chatbots. I want to scream, I’m not ‘fine’, I’m just functioning! But instead, I say “All good!” and laugh at memes five minutes later.
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It’s exhausting constantly pretending to be breezy when my head’s full of thunderstorms. Small talk doesn’t leave room for real talk. It’s like trying to pour feelings into a teacup meant for sugar cubes.
I crave conversations where I can say how I actually feel weird, uncertain, messy, without someone nervously changing the topic. I don’t want to talk about traffic or work.
I want to talk about how time feels fake, how friendships drift quietly, how we’re all trying to make life look okay on Instagram while holding ourselves together with caffeine and denial.
So yes, small talk is my villain origin story. Because it keeps us from being human. It rewards the polite mask and punishes the honest mess underneath.
Someday, when I finally snap, it won’t be dramatic, just me at a wedding, smiling at yet another “How are you?” and whispering, “Do you really want to know?”
That’s the moment I’ll truly become the villain, the one who dares to answer honestly.
Sources: Blogger’s own opinion
Find the blogger: Katyayani Joshi
This post is tagged under: small talk, introvert problems, social awkwardness, gen z humour, indian blogger, relatable content, everyday humour, modern life, anti small talk club, overthinking diaries, awkward conversations, desi humour, indian millennials, sarcastic writing, chronically online, internet culture, emotional honesty, social anxiety vibes, funny blogs, witty writing, personal blog, relatable af, real talk only, chai and chaos, blog humour, storytelling india, authenticity matters, mental health awareness, modern relationships, self expression
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