The internet has its own unique and quirky ways of starting trends and propagating new ideas. Whether it is a new eating culture or an unusual dating method, the unpredictability of social media trends is a never-ending topic. The latest addition to this list is TikTok’s “Date them till you hate them” trend, and this trend is as messy as it sounds.
What Does It Mean?
The “Date them till you Hate them” trend was started by Meg Neil, a TikToker who documented how she walked past a long-term relationship without feeling too heartbroken. Meg shared in a 2023 video, “You are going to watch them disrespect you until you no longer want to associate with them anymore.”
After this, hundreds of youngsters began following the trend of walking out of relationships unhurt. Instead of trying to address issues or fix problems in the relationship, people started following the path of staying silent till the differences pile up, so that the emotional detachment and eventually the breakup do not hurt.
People began treating emotional withdrawal as a strategy that helped them deal with relationships that did not serve them anymore. The idea was to stay until they no longer cared, and this eventually made the heartbreak feel less like one and more like a pending task that was neglected to such a point that it lost its importance.
Courtney Morgan, a therapist and founder of Counselling Unconditionally, explains, “The ‘date them till you hate them’ trend is essentially staying in a mediocre relationship until it gets bad enough for it to feel easier to leave the relationship.”
Morgan further says, “Although I originally heard about this trend on TikTok, I have witnessed many people engage in this behaviour prior to it becoming a trend. We just did not have the name for it then.”
This means that instead of breaking up in an essentially toxic relationship, one should rather stay in the relationship until one is emotionally detached. This will make the heartbreak minimal and make it easier for them to walk away. This trend has become a coping mechanism for people who struggle to address their needs, and rather than breaking up immediately, they protect themselves by emotionally distancing themselves.
Read More: Why Women Are Calling Out The Viral Trend Of ‘Mankeeping’ In 2025
The Burnout People Face
A 2025 Forbes Health Survey highlighted that about 78 per cent of users who dated online reported feeling stressed and overwhelmed due to repeated bad experiences in dating. Such issues can start to accumulate with time and lead people to deal with anxiety and depression in relationships.
As explained by Jai Arora, a counselling psychologist and co-founder of Kirana Counselling, “Avoidance usually comes when something painful is hidden underneath, which we do not want to see, feel or come to terms with. Confronting a partner can also trigger emotions such as fear of being judged, hurting a loved one, or facing potential abandonment.”
In the current dating and relationship scenario, lack of commitment, cheating and emotional unavailability condition the youth to think that it might feel safer to emotionally detach from a partner than to confront them about what they did wrong.
What This Leads To Eventually
However, this negligence can have adverse effects. It causes no conflict resolution, creates communication gaps and delays healing and healthy relationship growth. It also prevents people from understanding their own boundaries because they ignore what they dislike and carry on with it until it no longer hurts.
Psychologist Sarah Hensley, the founder of The Love Doc, explains, “It encourages people to stop speaking up for their needs in their relationship and instead build up slow resentment.” She further adds, “This is the opposite of what securely attached people do. It is inauthentic and encourages emotional suppression.”
Even though initially it might make sense to adopt such a trend, the long-term effects of it are undeniable. In the long run, emotional neglect becomes a habit that is hard to escape. This would not only affect romantic relationships but also the overall mental well-being of a person, as escaping will always seem more tempting than speaking up.
Such a pattern will reflect in other relationships and overall create a generation that runs away from discomfort rather than dealing with it. This will ultimately repeat the cycles of hurt and fear they were meant to avoid in the first place.
Psychologist Jai Arora advises youth to acknowledge problems rather than falling prey to such a toxic trend. The expert explains, “Talking to friends or a therapist can reduce fear and build confidence in the decision. Preparing what to say, choosing a calm setting and outlining the next steps can make the process feel more contained. Therapy can also help regulate emotions and strengthen interpersonal skills.”
For a generation deprived of real-life connections due to the digital age they have been born into, this trend might seem like an easy escape. However, as uncomfortable as they are, confrontation and communication are the key to any bond.
Even though this trend feels like a more peaceful exit, it ends up normalising a lack of communication and makes vulnerability feel threatening. A pattern like this will make young people more prone to toxic strategies of coping and ultimately cause them more harm than they can imagine.
Sources: Times of India, The Indian Express, Cosmopolitan
Find the blogger: @shubhangichoudhary_29
This post is tagged under: dating trends, TikTok trends, relationship advice, modern dating, emotional detachment, Gen Z relationships, toxic relationship patterns, communication in relationships, breakup culture, mental health, social media culture, online dating burnout, avoidance coping, attachment styles, therapy and relationships, 2025 trends, digital age relationships
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