Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we pick a famous personality and throw fake questions at him/her and in return, we receive fake answers. Why should you not take it seriously? Because it is fake.
ED: Hi Elon, welcome to ED. We know you are not real, but it is still an honor to meet you.
Elon Musk: Hi ED. Well, none of us are real. We are merely simulations inside a highly advanced machine and everything around us is a simulation.
ED: Somebody watched the Matrix one too many time. Anyway, what is the latest? What are you working on? A new way to teleport to Mars maybe?
Elon: If I had discovered teleportation to Mars, I wouldn’t exactly be sitting around giving fake interviews now, would I? What I am working on is a portable flamethrower for my latest company “The Boring Company”. I just wanted something to light my stove once in a while, a flamethrower seemed like the most efficient way.
ED: *stares at Elon dumbfounded* So… ahem, moving on. What about the claim that you are subtly trying to prepare people for a Zombie Apocalypse?
Elon: *starts laughing* A zombie apocalypse? Really? Do these people seriously think that they’ll be able to kill zombies with this little stove lighter? PFFFTTT. It’s all a conspiracy. I cannot legally sell the ones that could actually kill Zombies ya know.
ED: Looks like you could get into the weapons business. People have called you the real-life Tony Stark, what do you think?
Elon: I don’t agree at all. I am not Tony Stark, I am better. I mean who messes up his relationship with a woman that guy… I mean whaa *goes off into a deep thought*
ED: There there *hands him a handkerchief* Let’s talk about Hyperloop. It is frankly a brilliant idea. How did you think of it?
Elon: Well, It’s quite an interesting story. Frankly, I was inspired by the Delhi Metro, and so I wanted to build something like that. Minus the Rajiv Chowk crowds, bad smell and faster!
ED: I don’t know whether to feel offended or honored. Speaking of India, any plans that you have for this fair country of ours?
Elon: Ummm, I have a rocket company, a car company, and now a flamethrower company. You guys have a dirt cheap space program, still, drive bullock carts and conserve gas and petrol like it’s the last drop on earth. What can I even do?
ED: Elon, last question. What do you want to say to your critics?
Elon: I sold 50,000 hats just so that I could sell $4 million dollars of flamethrowers under the banner of a company meant for tunnel building. I launch rockets into space and pretty soon to mars too. And I was on Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon. Beat that.
ED: Thanks, Elon! Thanks for fake talking to us and giving us fake happiness. Fake bye bye
Image Credits: Google Images