Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we pick a famous personality and throw fake questions at him/her and in return, we receive fake answers. Why should you not take it seriously? Because it is fake.
If you still didn’t get it: This is a fake interview written purely on the basis of the author’s imagination of how the actual interview would have been if we got the chance to interview these famous (for all the wrong reasons) personalities in real. In short, just a good laugh.
Namaste! Hello! We are back with our special segment; Fake Friendly Friday with our plagiarism King Badshah and Corona ki Raani Kanika Kapoor!
*Genda Phool plays in the background as our guests join us.*
ED – Welcome to ED’s Fake Friendly Friday! Quite a year 2020 has been, especially for the two of you! How are you doing?
Kanika Kapoor (KK) – I am very happy that I tested negative for coronavirus. Finally!
ED – Yes, after five attempts. Congratulations! You are like the student who took the CA final exam five times before clearing.
KK – You know… *coughs*
*Interviewer and Badshah run away.*
*Entire set is emptied in a matter of minutes.*
*After much discussion and another test, people are dragged back.*
*Interviewer and Badshah demand twice their usual pay for endangering their lives.*
KK – Sorry guys! But truly I am COVID-19 negative now. Do not panic!
Badshah – *whispers* Lol! Say that to the hundreds of people you infected.
*Kanika Kapoor gives killer eyes to Badshah.*
ED – Alright! Let’s get back to the questions. So, Badshah your Bengali fans want to know if you are inclined towards their culture and what motivated you to make Genda Phool?
Badshah – No man! I don’t know anything about Bengalis and their culture plus I find their language quite tough and confusing. I like ‘Roshagulla’ though. *Smiles like Rahul Gandhi!*
ED – Well, that makes sense! Moving on to you, ma’am. What has been new with you during the lockdown?
KK – Did I tell you? I tested negative for Coronavirus.
*poker face*
ED – Yes, you did.
*Wonders if memory loss is a side effect of coronavirus.*
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ED – Badshah, another fan wants to know what measures can we take to handle lack of originality in Bollywood?
Badshah – Baby, paisa phek tamasha dekh!
ED – Right, that’s how you dealt with it! Quite innovative!
*Interviewer regrets her decision to conduct the interview.*
ED – Well, to make the session more interesting, we have decided to give one of you ‘Major Fiasco Of 2020’ trophy at the end. To decide who wins, a rapid fire awaits us! Shall we?
*KK and Badshah both look excited!*
*Production hands both of them thali and chammach.*
Badshah – *cries with joy* Modi ji ka task firse!
ED – If you know the answer, kindly bang the utensils.
*Rapid Fire Begins!*
ED– Which among the two of you is more relatable to the masses?
*Both bang the life out of the vessels!*
ED – STOP! Both can answer.
KK – Being extra and gulping down seven bottles of champagne, when I wasn’t even able to breathe just to look normal and ‘fit in’. Isn’t that something every millennial does?
Badshah – Come on! Plagiarism is the most powerful tool in university. You have got to give me this one!
ED – *looks nervous and confused* Both get a point!
*Both celebrities celebrate by banging vessels louder!*
ED – *screams* Who has a killing vibe among the two of you?
Badshah – My music gives cancer to millions.
ED – Noted! But you forgot to signal by banging the utensils.
Badshah – So sorry, I broke the spoon in excitement. Can I get a hammer?
ED – *looks horrified* That’s enough. I’ll consider your answer. Kanika?
KK – Dude, I literally infected hundreds. I definitely have the vibe that one requires to slay.
*PM Modi announces lockdown abruptly as the clock strikes 8*
*Director screams pack up*
ED – Oh goodness! I think it’s time. Thank you for being here!
KK – *starts singing while leaving* Let’s have a party tonight! I’m Negative!
*Interviewer and Badshah scream in unison.*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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