Disclaimer: Originally published in September 2018. It is being republished since it still remains an interesting topic till today.
By Moulshree Srivastav
Whether it’s the gorgeous Jai Singh Rathore (Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na) singing an entire song to cheer up his best friend Aditi or Kabir (Ki and Ka) operating the household with joy while his wife works, we can’t help but want these reel heroes to sweep into our real lives and lift us right off our feet.
We can’t help but fall for their clichéd pickup lines and over the top make-out sessions (YES! I want to be kissed in an airport or football field just as much as you do).
Lastly, we can’t help but fantasize about our own relationships portraying the same bond we see onscreen.
But alas, as the movie nears its end, we’re transported back to reality and come to terms with the realization that life is no Karan Johar chick-flick.
Steps in, disappointment
Just as we’re still wondering whether we will ever be able to influence our partners to act in a certain way, we already get laughed at for basing our affections on over-romanticized notions of love.
We’re told how our real life can never supersede a reel one, and just how foolish we are for expecting something that probably is a farfetched dream. And since nobody wants to be seen as needy and nagging, what we’re left in is an abysmal state of dissatisfaction.
How much is not “too much” to ask?
We all crave a loving, understanding and respectful partner in life: somebody we can count on in times of distress, somebody who knows us inside out, somebody we can call our own.
According to Tina Gilbert, renowned author and counselor; affection, compassion, time and respect are the four basic pillars of a successful relationship. In her book, she talks about how these magic ingredients mixed together with a tinge of love can win over almost any problem.
But apart from these necessary elements, what are the million ways that could make your girl go head over heels for you?
Read More: Toxic Masculinity, Stalking And Women As Just Plot Devices Are Some Notions Of Romance In Bollywood
“It’s the little things in life”
Gentlemen, we don’t expect grand lavish gestures from you, we aren’t asking for a proposal in Paris or a long vacation in Hawaii, all we crave is a little appreciation and attention on your part.
Send her a text in the morning to remind her she’s loved, leave little notes on the fridge complimenting that hot dress she wore last night, hold her hand in public, pluck a flower for her from your garden (Oh please, get her flowers) or maybe, just take out a little time for her from your busy schedule without her constantly asking you to. Simple, no?
Well, to be honest, we can’t overlook the fact that every person is made a certain way, some too strong, some too vulnerable, some too expressive, some not so much.
Consequently, when we talk about what to expect and what not to expect from our partners, we need to keep in mind that their idea of love might not necessarily match our extremely romanticized version of it and that is just as fine.
For instance, the thought of a romantic drive across town might excite some people whereas some of us might want to stay in and cook a delicious meal together. Really, If you’re spending a meaningful amount of time together, does the ‘way it happened’ matter so much?
People portray emotions in different ways and we tend to forget that these distinct traits are exactly what made us fall in love with them in the first place.
So yes, maybe we won’t get a fairytale story to brag about but if we stick through and try to make it work with a little compromise and a lot of love, we might just as well end up getting a ‘happily ever after’.
Ladies, I know it’s hard to watch something so lovable onscreen and not want it for yourself but trust me, had these movies not been of some two hours and twenty minutes, these perfect lovers would be driving each other just as crazy as we sometimes do.
And although I wasn’t born when the Rolling Stones released You Can’t Always Get What You Want (summer of 1969), I’ll always trust its last line: ‘But if you try sometimes, well, you just might find, you get what you need.’
Image Credits: Google Images