Finance

A Mock Interview With Obama

September 1, 2013

This is a mock interview and so I can manipulate it as per my whims and fancies.

So ED was invited over to the White House for a tete-a-tete with Barack Obama. [You know we are so famous and all] Once he was all set for the interview I started my line of questioning .

Me: You are a Nobel peace prize winning President. Since then you have led an attack against the Libyan regime and now planning a military intervention in Syria. Your comments?

Him: Oh, the peace prize. Do not read too much into it. It was a ‘stunning surprise’ even for me. Just because I made some senseless commitments about the Guantanamo Bay which by the way I never meant to keep does not make me a peace lover. You know politicians promise to build bridges all the time even when there is no river.

Me: Syria has been embroiled in a civil war since 2011 and you never called for a military action. What changed?

Him: You know Bashar al-Assad has used chemical weapons against the dissidents.

Me: But was there no other amicable and peaceful solution to the problem. Besides we do not have any evidence to implicate the Assad regime?

Him: We sure have have no evidence. But an Indian called Rahul Gandhi taught me the power of the ‘state of mind’. I am confident that the ruling regime was involved. Also I am trying hard to come out of my peace-loving image. I had intervened in Libya for the same purpose. As long as Americans are not involved, I unequivocally love bombs and blasts.

Me: Ahem!

Him: Poor wretched Indian. What are you so offended about? You must be quite used to them by now. I have supplied ISI with enough weapons to keep you entertained for a while.

Me: Okay, coming back to chemical weapons. In 1970 when Saddam Hussein used those deadly weapons supplied by your country against the Kurds America did not react. Instead you provided them with immunity?

Him:You know the benefit of being the leader of the world’s superpower is that I don’t have to answer such questions. Thank you.