Breakfast Babble is ED’s own little space on the interwebs where we gather to discuss ideas and get pumped up (or not) for the day. We judge things, too. Sometimes. Always. Whatever, call it catharsis and join in, people.
My search history is the closest thing I have to a therapist, and it works the night shift for free. I don’t have a therapist. I have Google, 2 AM, and the unshakeable belief that WebMD is just gatekeeping the truth from me.
It starts innocently enough. A slightly weird twinge in my arm. I type “why does my arm hurt”, and within four clicks I’ve self-diagnosed a heart condition, developed a fear of my own pulse, and bookmarked a Reddit thread titled “am I dying or is this just anxiety.”
Spoiler: it was anxiety, it’s always anxiety. Somehow, that’s never the first thing I believe.
My search history is less a browsing record and more a psychological case file. “Is it normal to overthink texts?” sits right above “why do I cry during ads,” which sits right above “how to tell if you’re the toxic one.” At this point, I don’t need a therapist to ask me, “So what brought you in today?” I could just hand them my phone and let them scroll.
I’ve considered therapy. Multiple times. But therapy costs money and requires me to say my feelings out loud to an actual stranger, whereas Google just lets me type them into a search bar at 2 AM and judges me silently, which is frankly the only emotional bandwidth I can handle.
Read more: Breakfast Babble: When I Understood That Manifestation Is Not Everything
The thing about panic-Googling is that it gives you the illusion of control. You don’t actually feel better, but you feel like you’re doing something about feeling bad, which is a completely different sensation that your brain will happily accept as a substitute. Ten tabs deep into “signs of burnout” at midnight isn’t self-care. It’s just anxiety wearing a lab coat.
And the algorithm knows. My Instagram ads have become disturbingly accurate. One day I’m being shown stress-relief supplements, the next it’s a “for people who overthink everything” merch brand, and I genuinely can’t tell anymore if I’m being marketed to or diagnosed.
I’ve made peace with the fact that I will never not Google a symptom before mentioning it to an actual doctor, let alone a therapist. But somewhere between the third WebMD tab and the fourth Reddit thread, it might be worth asking why I trust strangers on the internet more than I trust myself to sit with an uncomfortable feeling for five minutes.
Anyway, off to Google “why do I self-diagnose instead of just booking a therapy appointment.” The irony is not lost on me. It’s just being ignored.
Sources: Blogger’s own opinion
Find the blogger: @diptisadh
This post is tagged under: breakfast babble, search history, Google search history, panic googling, therapy, anxiety, overthinking, WebMD, late night Googling, social media algorithms, internet culture, digital life, modern life, mental health humour, internet habits, online self diagnosis, Google searches, self diagnosis, therapists, Instagram ads, Reddit
Disclaimer: We do not hold any copyright over any of the images used; these have been taken from Google. In case of credits or removal, the owner may kindly email us.
Other Recommendations:
Breakfast Babble: I Don’t Watch Reality TV, So Why Do I Know Everyone’s Business
