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I was flipping through old class group photos and school trip memorabilia. My eyes automatically drifted to that so familiar but now vaguely nostalgic face. The curve of his nose, the dimples on his cheeks, and that warm, dusky skin tone. My school crush seemed like a part of a distant dream.
Having bumped into him at a school reunion recently, at first I felt goosebumps creeping up my spine. But then that excited feeling disappeared with lightning speed, before I could nervously straighten my dress. That’s the time the reality came crashing down upon me- meeting my school crush isn’t as titillating as it used to be.
The person I used to spend hours creating romantic fairytale scenarios about, now was no more than one of my acquaintances. To top it off, I cringed at his present demeanor. All that schoolboy charm had wrenched free with age and given way to an overly masculine impression.
I suppose that is what crushes are destined to be, right? Time wears off the wings of those butterflies in your stomach. Then you realize that your stomach makes space for more butterflies from other people.
I met my other crush as well (yeah, I had scores of crushes, or still do), and frankly, it was a little exciting. I remembered sitting beside her in Psychology class and getting so submerged in her charms that she had to poke me to tell me that the teacher is calling me (the teacher must have been super mad, my memory is too fudged due to her beautiful hair). Right now, I wish I would have approached her, as times have changed and the old attraction is lost in the abyss.
While these official crushes lurked inside my head, I realized potential matches with other people I didn’t really notice. On a school trip when we were taken to watch a theatrical performance, I rested my head on a classmate’s shoulder and fell asleep.
Also, a guy in my class helped me out with math problems and a tumult of emotions welled up inside me (I understood that there are so many interesting people in the vast world, I needn’t be sad about my crush not texting me back).
The fleeting nature of a school crush (or any crush in general) is like a fierce storm which at one moment seems to tear the world apart, but then in the next settles down as if nothing happened. I guess every king or queen (or my crush) has to step down someday.
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This post is tagged under: school crush, romance, defiance and romance, romance languages, My Chemical Romance, crush, Celebrity Man Crush, platonic crush, love story, Infatuation, Activities In School, #memories, childhood memories, counting memories, happy memories, memories of childhood, old memories, recreating memories
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