The story has been doing some rounds for quite a while, now. A girl in Delhi, who happens to be a student of LSR (Lady Shri Ram College) got hit by a semen filled balloon as part of a Holi prank.
There have been national protests by the students after multiple incidents of similar nature but be that as it may, I JUST DON’T BUY THIS STORY.
Before you brand me a male chauvinist, a sexist, a skeptical retard, a judgmental A-hole, a woman hater and what not, it’s best if you first read the article from start to finish and use your common sense to wrap your head around the set narrative as well as my counter-narrative to derive a conclusion.
After all, the girl who narrated her story on Instagram based it on guesswork that the balloon’s contents had semen in them, so we’re gonna try our best and be logical and rational in our approach.
So without further ado, here is my analysis of why semen filled balloons story makes no sense and it MAY be fake, after all:
#1. Logistics Of The Act (And Some Science):
It has been stated by multiple sources with thorough research that a normal male produces 1 ml to 5 ml semen in one ejaculate, which is roughly equal to a tablespoon of semen.
Now, if we take the provided statistics into account and fill a tablespoon worth of semen into a balloon directly via the man’s penis (implausible but let’s roll with it), the amount of semen within the balloon in no way gives it enough weight for it to be used as a projectile which generates enough momentum that it explodes like a typical water balloon on colliding with another object.
Simple words: A man’s semen in a single ejaculate isn’t enough to give the balloon that much weight that it explodes like a normal water balloon on hitting someone (especially with only 1 to 5 ml semen).
If you wish to make this plausible, it can only happen when at least 50-70 men ejaculate simultaneously to fill up an alleged semen-filled balloon. The keyword here is “simultaneously” and I’m gonna elucidate that in my next point.
#2. The Time Needed To Make The Semen-Filled Balloon (And Some More Science):
Semen dries up pretty quickly, in a time span of 5 to 8 minutes. If a man ejaculates within the balloon, it’s evident that he’ll have to throw the balloon within that time span for semen to actually make an impact in its wet state.
Now, juxtapose it with the first point:
A. The weight of the balloon is so less that semen inside it won’t make a difference if it comes from one man. IT WILL NOT EXPLODE.
B. Semen dries out if it’s less in quantity and/or coagulates (changes to a semi-solid state) if it’s thick.
Basic science: It should stick to the balloon’s inner surface in that time limit.
I used the word “simultaneously” in my first point when I talked about how the girl’s post and how the theory behind it can be made plausible. For a semen-filled balloon to explode, 50-70 men need to ejaculate simultaneously to fill the balloon completely, so that the semen doesn’t dry out or coagulate and the balloon needs to be thrown then and there to explode.
Whether the guy was walking and collecting semen or was he doing it on a vehicle is still a mystery.
And secondly, I believe you can’t get 70 men to ejaculate in a single place in an area like Amar Colony, but that’s just me.
#3. Smell Of Semen And How It Trickled Down The Girl’s Clothes And Dried Out White Is Also A Flawed Theory:
Semen can have a distinct smell, agreed. The girl may be acclimatized with semen enough to recognize its smell, agreed.
Read the above 2 subheadings and their explanations and now comes the third point: If at all semen has a distinct smell and if it is produced by a single man (1 to 5 ml), there’s a good chance that the semen will be practically odour-less, IF IT IS MIXED WITH WATER TO GIVE THE BALLOON ENOUGH WEIGHT FOR IT TO EXPLODE.
The water will largely neutralize its smell, due to the volume difference.
Even if we go ahead and buy into the theory of the semen’s smell, the fact that the girl said that the semen “trickled down” her clothes as a white gooey substance and managed to leave a white residue/stain is quite conflicting on it own.
Semen on its own can’t be filled in a balloon and if it was mixed with water, there’s a good possibility that it’ll either settle down or continue to float but won’t dissolve at the get-go unless the semen is extremely dilute.
And when mixed with water, it CANNOT leave a white stain or produce a trickle-down effect because of the density difference between water and semen. It’ll either stick majorly on the balloon surface and even if it somehow manages to get on someone’s clothes, it will still be sticky and not trickle down like a regular liquid.
Read. Re-read and re-read again.
But whatever you do, don’t believe the hype. And with all due respect to the wonderful women in LSR (no sarcasm because I genuinely believe it’s a fantastic college), I sincerely fail to wrap my head around the fact that why do all the mishaps concerning such gross topics tend to happen with students of your institution only.
Maybe it’s a coincidence. Maybe it’s not. But if unsubstantiated news is spread around, there’s a huge risk that people will stop believing in true incidents and actually stand up to help.
Image Credits: Google Images
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